It's a beautiful sunny day, I've been laying out in the sun on my sun lounger and soaking up the rays. It did get a bit chilly though, it's not like its really summer sun yet. It's ok to lay out there in jeans and fleecy top but too cold to put shorts on I think! I went out with all intentions of reading my book but I fell asleep. I needed the sleep though after not sleeping much in the last week.
I feel much better about my hospital visit today. I feel much more positive and hopeful that the injections will work. John doesnt feel so down about his job either. As Stuart says its not worth worrying about stuff til it happens really. He is right. Such a wise man our Stuart!
John is outside with his son Chris, they are fixing the front gate on the side of the house. Im at a bit of a loss as to what to do. There are lots of things I could be doing in the house but I really cant get motivated. Im quite sleepy actually. I did start taking my meds again last night and I slept like a rock. For the first time in ages. So why am I still sleepy now!
Im thinking of getting some conifers to put along a fence in our garden. The neighbours who back onto the fence keep kicking footballs at the fence and yesterday hit the fence so hard that it broke the fence. I dont see any point in paying out for new fencing there if they are going to abuse it so I was looking at conifers today, we could put them alongside the fence. They would hide the holes and they would also give us some privacy. They are £20.00 each! I know they can grow quite high but I would try keep them cut down. Something to think about when we can afford it.
Laine xxx
Saturday, 10 April 2010
Friday, 9 April 2010
Hello
Thank you all for caring so much. It really means alot! They say you always turn to an old friend when you have trouble and I did just that I turned to all of you. My lovely Jland people. Thank you.
This is how it went today.
First of all I was a bit fed up as I didnt see my usual consultant, he was there but I had to see his assistant. From that point I felt that I wasnt going to get the news I had hoped for. Actually, to be honest, I dont really know what I had hoped for. I can tell you that I was so nervous. I felt sick, I was shaking. I was in a right state! How stupid!!
Anyway, they showed me the MRI pictures and they explained that they didnt think at this point an operation would work, infact they said an operation could make me worse. They said that the disc that protruded before had sort of gone back in but was badly worn. There is another disc that protrudes a bit and is near the sciatic nerve. They said the sciatic nerve is reacting to it and that's what is causing me pain and discomfort in my leg and foot. They have offered me injections that will go deep into my spine and give me strong pain killers and anti-inflammatories. This will calm down the nerve and the pain should go. John asked about the longevity of the injections, her answer was that by the time the pain killers wear off then the nerve will have got used to the narrowing and it should then have calmed down by then. They are not sure about the pins and needles in my toes though. She sort of inferred that its probably too late for anything to be done about that. Like the damage is done! I was a bit cross because before the MRI my consultant had said that they could almost certainly get rid of the pins and needles too. It would just be the numbness that wouldnt disappear.
But at least its not as evasive as an operation and I will only be off work for a couple of days instead of six weeks. I just only hope it works! They will follow up after and help me get the strength back in my foot as it doesnt work properly. I cant keep sandals on or flip flops and I cant put any weight on it. I feel a bit down coz I never got definate answers but then I feel relieved coz I havent got to have an operation. At least they are doing something! I just cant help feeling like Ive been fobbed off. I asked what would happen if the injections dont work and she couldnt really answer. I actually think they dont really know what to do with me.
I asked what would I do if the pins and needles dont go away as they drive me mad at night and I dont want to be on medication forever. She said that it might only be a case of keeping on with the Amitryptiline.
I still feel like I dont really know whats happening. It could be up to 3 months before I get these injections done! They took an x-ray of my back today too so they can see what's happening with my bones. I should get the results of that in 14 days. I should hear within the week when my appointment will be for the injections.
Also today, John had a letter about his job. It was calling all Sales staff in for a meeting next Tuesday. It says that there is a proposal for another company to buy the division that John is in. They are basically being taken over. John knows the company in question and he knows that they wont take on the staff. So in a couple of months time John will almost certainly be out of a job. But we shall see, they may take on a few of them. Lets just hope! Hope is a big word of the day!
Zoe!!! So good to see you and thank you for your kind words.
Thank you.
Laine xxxx
This is how it went today.
First of all I was a bit fed up as I didnt see my usual consultant, he was there but I had to see his assistant. From that point I felt that I wasnt going to get the news I had hoped for. Actually, to be honest, I dont really know what I had hoped for. I can tell you that I was so nervous. I felt sick, I was shaking. I was in a right state! How stupid!!
Anyway, they showed me the MRI pictures and they explained that they didnt think at this point an operation would work, infact they said an operation could make me worse. They said that the disc that protruded before had sort of gone back in but was badly worn. There is another disc that protrudes a bit and is near the sciatic nerve. They said the sciatic nerve is reacting to it and that's what is causing me pain and discomfort in my leg and foot. They have offered me injections that will go deep into my spine and give me strong pain killers and anti-inflammatories. This will calm down the nerve and the pain should go. John asked about the longevity of the injections, her answer was that by the time the pain killers wear off then the nerve will have got used to the narrowing and it should then have calmed down by then. They are not sure about the pins and needles in my toes though. She sort of inferred that its probably too late for anything to be done about that. Like the damage is done! I was a bit cross because before the MRI my consultant had said that they could almost certainly get rid of the pins and needles too. It would just be the numbness that wouldnt disappear.
But at least its not as evasive as an operation and I will only be off work for a couple of days instead of six weeks. I just only hope it works! They will follow up after and help me get the strength back in my foot as it doesnt work properly. I cant keep sandals on or flip flops and I cant put any weight on it. I feel a bit down coz I never got definate answers but then I feel relieved coz I havent got to have an operation. At least they are doing something! I just cant help feeling like Ive been fobbed off. I asked what would happen if the injections dont work and she couldnt really answer. I actually think they dont really know what to do with me.
I asked what would I do if the pins and needles dont go away as they drive me mad at night and I dont want to be on medication forever. She said that it might only be a case of keeping on with the Amitryptiline.
I still feel like I dont really know whats happening. It could be up to 3 months before I get these injections done! They took an x-ray of my back today too so they can see what's happening with my bones. I should get the results of that in 14 days. I should hear within the week when my appointment will be for the injections.
Also today, John had a letter about his job. It was calling all Sales staff in for a meeting next Tuesday. It says that there is a proposal for another company to buy the division that John is in. They are basically being taken over. John knows the company in question and he knows that they wont take on the staff. So in a couple of months time John will almost certainly be out of a job. But we shall see, they may take on a few of them. Lets just hope! Hope is a big word of the day!
Zoe!!! So good to see you and thank you for your kind words.
Thank you.
Laine xxxx
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Thursday
Hello my lovely friends.
I do feels better today. I've had a lovely day and the sun has been shining all day.
Your right Stuart!!! I do love your phrase! I remember thinking about those words when I had my MRI scan. And its so true it does pass. This time tomorrow I will be writing to you and telling you all about my consultation and what the results are!!
Til tomorrow my friends. xxxxx
I do feels better today. I've had a lovely day and the sun has been shining all day.
Your right Stuart!!! I do love your phrase! I remember thinking about those words when I had my MRI scan. And its so true it does pass. This time tomorrow I will be writing to you and telling you all about my consultation and what the results are!!
Til tomorrow my friends. xxxxx
Wednesday, 7 April 2010
Wednesday
You are all so kind, thank you.
I feel funny today. I had such a lovely weekend. John, Oscar and me. Just us and the numerous people in the New Forest of course! It's all back to normal now. John worrying about work and me worrying about John. Im fed up with being fed up! You go on a high and then when you hit the low its hard to get up again!
John can get his frustration and anger out in one go. It all comes out like a volcanoe - he erupts and then he feels better. I, on the other hand, get affected by this volcanoe and I have the smouldering lava on me for days! It takes me alot longer to shake it off. So then I go into a sulk worrying about him and he then wonders whats up with me. A viscious circle could then occur!
I've had a bit of a bad tummy today. I do get IBS when Im nervous. Im not consciously nervous about the hospital on Friday but I must be deep inside coz its affecting my bowels. Sorry! Prob too much information!
I will know Friday whats going to happen. Thats all I can think about at the moment. I just want to know now!
Sorry Im being very down.
I feel funny today. I had such a lovely weekend. John, Oscar and me. Just us and the numerous people in the New Forest of course! It's all back to normal now. John worrying about work and me worrying about John. Im fed up with being fed up! You go on a high and then when you hit the low its hard to get up again!
John can get his frustration and anger out in one go. It all comes out like a volcanoe - he erupts and then he feels better. I, on the other hand, get affected by this volcanoe and I have the smouldering lava on me for days! It takes me alot longer to shake it off. So then I go into a sulk worrying about him and he then wonders whats up with me. A viscious circle could then occur!
I've had a bit of a bad tummy today. I do get IBS when Im nervous. Im not consciously nervous about the hospital on Friday but I must be deep inside coz its affecting my bowels. Sorry! Prob too much information!
I will know Friday whats going to happen. Thats all I can think about at the moment. I just want to know now!
Sorry Im being very down.
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
Stuff
Ive got the hospital on Friday - I should at last find out what can be done for me concerning my back! Im bloody nervous! Dont mind admitting that! I keep having nightmares about the operation - I might not even have an operation! Who knows - it will all be found out on Friday and I will let you know!
John and I have spend the Easter weekend in the New Forest. It was really lovely. I enjoyed seeing the ponies and the donkeys. I loved seeing cows walking down the High Street in Beaulieu! Ive got some photos and will put them on soon.
Sorry Ive not been writing much. I sort of keep losing the will to do it! Not good I know!!
Laine xxxxx
John and I have spend the Easter weekend in the New Forest. It was really lovely. I enjoyed seeing the ponies and the donkeys. I loved seeing cows walking down the High Street in Beaulieu! Ive got some photos and will put them on soon.
Sorry Ive not been writing much. I sort of keep losing the will to do it! Not good I know!!
Laine xxxxx
Sunday, 28 February 2010
I tried!
Ive tried to do an entry several times in the last few days and gave up as it kept disappearing! I got fed up I did!
Ive been in pain again. But, Im hoping that my MRI scan date will come through soon then the consultant can go ahead with my operation!
Ive been wondering what to do with my life. Sounds strange I know. Well you are probably thinking to yourselves, well she has just got herself that job she always wanted, and I have and Im really happy there. There are issues but there are in any job. You see, John's job is looking very dicy lately, he could lose it at any time and also he is very very miserable as he works so hard but his colleagues seem to always do things wrong to make his work fail or make John look stupid. Long story so wont go into it but the upshot is that weve got to think of someway for John to leave work and be happy!
Lots of options:
He could concentrate on his business for selling handles. He makes and sells stainless steel handles but he only does it very part-time at the moment. He has all the machinery and he has perfected the handles. He does have one buyer that is reliable too. The only thing about doing it full-time is that he is worried that a) he might not get more customers, b) he might hurt his back doing it full-time (coz his back is dodgy) and c) it will be very hard-going at first money wise. Advantages, he would stop hating Sunday evenings and Monday mornings, he would not be bored anymore, he would work for himself, he would be happier!
He would have to think of other things to do as well as the handles. The thing is we do not have any savings and have some debt so it would be hard to just get rid of the day job. If his job did come to an end then we would be forced into doing something.
Now, if John does decide to work for himself I may start thinking of things that I could do too. We are both fed up being in the rat-race. You know, like being governed by other people, rules and regulations. At the moment we find that the weekends are so precious but go much too quickly. Im ok once I get to work, I do love my job but I love John more and want him to be happy, I want us both to enjoy life! Life is so short. There are so many things I want to do!
Here is a list of options for me for working from home;
Be a foster carer (well both John and I want to do that) we have discussed at length and really miss our children being little. I would love to give children the love that we have to give. I know it wouldnt be easy but it would be very rewarding too.
be a respite carer,
be a doggy boarder, look after people's doggies when they on holiday or at work, a dog-walking service maybe (not possible til Ive had me op though)
Start up a shop on Ebay, I want to start a craft shop, scrap-booking materials etc.
Breed Golden Retrievers.
Some sort of social care work, with children who need time out and someone to talk to.
An art group for local community.
Parent and Toddler art group, or art group for kids.
Set up my own cleaning business.
So you see I have lots to think about.
John's brother recently was made redundant and he got a good pay-out so he is able now to do things that he likes doing, he has set up an ebay shop, his wife helps out with it too. His wife has her own cleaning/ironing business. He also trades on the stock exchange. He also has trained to be a driving instructor. His life is so so much happier now. He no longer dreads Sunday nights and Monday mornings. It was great to see them so happy. Oh I best give you a link for their shop!
It's Butterfly Nest Interiors.
Also, my brother gave up his job through ill-health and he now runs his own business as a painter and decorator. He is soooooo much happier. Makes you think though doesnt it!
I think we have to do something soon before John has a nervous break-down!
Thanks for listening.
Laine xxxxx
Ive been in pain again. But, Im hoping that my MRI scan date will come through soon then the consultant can go ahead with my operation!
Ive been wondering what to do with my life. Sounds strange I know. Well you are probably thinking to yourselves, well she has just got herself that job she always wanted, and I have and Im really happy there. There are issues but there are in any job. You see, John's job is looking very dicy lately, he could lose it at any time and also he is very very miserable as he works so hard but his colleagues seem to always do things wrong to make his work fail or make John look stupid. Long story so wont go into it but the upshot is that weve got to think of someway for John to leave work and be happy!
Lots of options:
He could concentrate on his business for selling handles. He makes and sells stainless steel handles but he only does it very part-time at the moment. He has all the machinery and he has perfected the handles. He does have one buyer that is reliable too. The only thing about doing it full-time is that he is worried that a) he might not get more customers, b) he might hurt his back doing it full-time (coz his back is dodgy) and c) it will be very hard-going at first money wise. Advantages, he would stop hating Sunday evenings and Monday mornings, he would not be bored anymore, he would work for himself, he would be happier!
He would have to think of other things to do as well as the handles. The thing is we do not have any savings and have some debt so it would be hard to just get rid of the day job. If his job did come to an end then we would be forced into doing something.
Now, if John does decide to work for himself I may start thinking of things that I could do too. We are both fed up being in the rat-race. You know, like being governed by other people, rules and regulations. At the moment we find that the weekends are so precious but go much too quickly. Im ok once I get to work, I do love my job but I love John more and want him to be happy, I want us both to enjoy life! Life is so short. There are so many things I want to do!
Here is a list of options for me for working from home;
Be a foster carer (well both John and I want to do that) we have discussed at length and really miss our children being little. I would love to give children the love that we have to give. I know it wouldnt be easy but it would be very rewarding too.
be a respite carer,
be a doggy boarder, look after people's doggies when they on holiday or at work, a dog-walking service maybe (not possible til Ive had me op though)
Start up a shop on Ebay, I want to start a craft shop, scrap-booking materials etc.
Breed Golden Retrievers.
Some sort of social care work, with children who need time out and someone to talk to.
An art group for local community.
Parent and Toddler art group, or art group for kids.
Set up my own cleaning business.
So you see I have lots to think about.
John's brother recently was made redundant and he got a good pay-out so he is able now to do things that he likes doing, he has set up an ebay shop, his wife helps out with it too. His wife has her own cleaning/ironing business. He also trades on the stock exchange. He also has trained to be a driving instructor. His life is so so much happier now. He no longer dreads Sunday nights and Monday mornings. It was great to see them so happy. Oh I best give you a link for their shop!
It's Butterfly Nest Interiors.
Also, my brother gave up his job through ill-health and he now runs his own business as a painter and decorator. He is soooooo much happier. Makes you think though doesnt it!
I think we have to do something soon before John has a nervous break-down!
Thanks for listening.
Laine xxxxx
Monday, 22 February 2010
Monday
OOOOH look at me two days in a row and Im here!
Thank you all so much for your comments. I am pleased something is being done about my back. Im a little scared though but at the same time pleased! Just have to wait for date for MRI first.
Was back at work today. All back to school! Awwww its test week this week and I have to get my little ones to do tests and I cant help them! I hate tests I do! My little group did really well and worked very hard, not very high scores but they tried their bestest! It all helps so we know what level they are at and what has gone into those tiny little minds. They do have to learn so much!
Tomorrow is Tuesday and Tuesday is one of my favourite days. We have the storyteller on a Tuesday. He is brilliant and funny and the children love him! He makes us laugh, he makes us sing, we sing about everything. We go walking in the woods and we talk about birds and creatures that live in the woods but he does it in a story way and gets the children all involved. The little boy that I look after who has autism absolutely loves the story man. When we went for a walk in the woods 'E' held Kevin's hands and told him that he was keeping them warm for him. Such a lovely thing to do! Story man is called Kevin!
Rain! Rain! and yet more rain!! We have big big huge, huge, lake like puddles in the roads! So bad that I thought my car would drown!
My car has her MOT tomorrow, please pray peoples coz she needs to pass as I forgot MOT is due by 26th Feb! And Tax is due for end of Feb! So I really dont want it to fail tomorrow!
We have a lady at work whose birthday it is on 29th Feb!! Well!! How about that! She doesnt get to have her actual birthday very often. She celebrates on the 28th. I think I would celebrate on two days!
Laine xxxx
Thank you all so much for your comments. I am pleased something is being done about my back. Im a little scared though but at the same time pleased! Just have to wait for date for MRI first.
Was back at work today. All back to school! Awwww its test week this week and I have to get my little ones to do tests and I cant help them! I hate tests I do! My little group did really well and worked very hard, not very high scores but they tried their bestest! It all helps so we know what level they are at and what has gone into those tiny little minds. They do have to learn so much!
Tomorrow is Tuesday and Tuesday is one of my favourite days. We have the storyteller on a Tuesday. He is brilliant and funny and the children love him! He makes us laugh, he makes us sing, we sing about everything. We go walking in the woods and we talk about birds and creatures that live in the woods but he does it in a story way and gets the children all involved. The little boy that I look after who has autism absolutely loves the story man. When we went for a walk in the woods 'E' held Kevin's hands and told him that he was keeping them warm for him. Such a lovely thing to do! Story man is called Kevin!
Rain! Rain! and yet more rain!! We have big big huge, huge, lake like puddles in the roads! So bad that I thought my car would drown!
My car has her MOT tomorrow, please pray peoples coz she needs to pass as I forgot MOT is due by 26th Feb! And Tax is due for end of Feb! So I really dont want it to fail tomorrow!
We have a lady at work whose birthday it is on 29th Feb!! Well!! How about that! She doesnt get to have her actual birthday very often. She celebrates on the 28th. I think I would celebrate on two days!
Laine xxxx
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