Sunday, 21 December 2008

Sorry!!!!

I know, I know!!! Sorry, sorry, sorry!! I've been a bad journaler!! Really bad! Smack my wrists! Tell me off! I deserve it!

To tell the truth I have been busy playing on my DS again lately! Been playing Animal Crossing again, forgot what a lovely game that is! Really enjoying it too!! hee hee.

I have been quite poorly with my back - my sleep is coming back a little. I'm managing about 4-5 hours sleep!! yay!!!! One day I might even sleep all night!!! You never know!!

Well I'm giving up the cleaning jobs and I have got myself a full-time job!! Yikes!!! I phoned up an agency to see if they had any work and they rang me the other day with a job!!! I didn't expect it! You know when you just do things to look like your doing something then it comes right back at you and hits you! Well I will be working for the Child Support Agency! It will be data entry - easy stuff. I will be working for the agency. It's for 3 months! But its 8.30am to 5.30pm, Mon-Friday!! Crikey, I wont have time to think! I will have to be organise, ME!!! Organised! I can't even organise a piss up in a brewery! Hee hee! Whoops is that swearing! I start on the 5th January! Wish me luck people! I will need you all when I start! I will need advise and organisation skills - so start sending me tips now please!!! xx

We had a lovely day at my Mum and Dad's today. We had our Christmas day with them. We had our pressies, we did!! They bought John and I a lovely saucepan set, really expensive good one! I'm really pleased with it. All ready now to cook my dinner on Christmas day.

Phew, right Im gonna go see if I can go read some of your journals.

Thank you so much to all of you who have sent me a card in the post! How lovely to receive them! Thank you so so much! I really do appreciate it!

Love Laine xxxxxxx

Tuesday, 9 December 2008

Hello everyone

Hi everyone - Im just popping in to say hi. I have so much work to do! I keep putting it off and doing other things. I really can't get motivated. My back is easing off a bit. I'm so scared that it might trigger off again though so Im careful what I do. I've not had any work for a whole week - probably a good thing if my back is weak. I'm still not sleeping very well at night. So last night I went to bed really really late - that seemed to do the trick. I will try and read your journals later - I need to catch up with you all. I have masses of Science revision to do! The exams are on 15th and 19th January! Not long now!

Where is the time going? I am no where near ready for Christmas! Will have to get my act into gear and get on with it! I am cooking dinner this year so I need to get more than just pressies - got to get all the food too!! We are on our second tin of Roses already!! Didnt think they would stay in the cupboard til Christmas! hee hee!! Oh well!

My friend, who I used to go to college with, has started a blog. Please dear friends go visit her and give her a lovely welcome. She is a lovely girl and a fantastic artist.

Kirsty.

Love Laine xxxx

Thursday, 4 December 2008

Break from Blogger

Just to let you all know I'm having a break from blogger for a while. I will be reading yours now and then - but I've got so much revision to do for Science that I really must get on with it. Once I start reading journals I get lost in them and then don't have time to revise. My final exams are on 15th January and 19th January so I really have to study lots before then. I just wanted you all to know that I'm not ignoring you all and I will try to pop in from time to time.

I have had an awful time the last 8 days. I have been in pain constantly. My foot is really bad with the sciatica at the moment. I just can't find a way to relieve it. It never used to bother me during the day but this week it has. Normally I just get the irritation and pain at night and just mild irritation during the day. It feel like someone has a red hot poker and they are constantly drawing circles in my foot. Its hard to explain really. I suppose I will have to go back to the Doctor, which I am dreading because last time they pulled me about and gave me allsorts of treatment, the worst being the epidural, and then said there was nothing they could do.

I ended up crying today as I've just had enough of this pain. I'm also very very tired as I have not slept properly for over 8 days now which is worse than Im used to. I have been going to bed at 2am because there is absolutely no point going to bed until I am very very very tired! Last night I got 5 hours sleep - the most I've had in ages. I was so relieved to be able to sleep soundly at last. I will ring the doctor tomorrow and try get an appointment - I've got to sort this out once and for all as it is making me so miserable.

Right I best get on with the revising!!!
Laine xxx

Tuesday, 2 December 2008

Poppy and Oscar

Had to share with you Poppy and Oscar who are now great mates!!!




video

Sunday, 30 November 2008

Teenager


My baby is now 13 - his 13th birthday today on St. Andrews day - so happy birthday Joe and happy St. Andrews day!


I was just reading Sara Sara's entry and she mentions about clothes and how she likes scruffy. I likes scruffy and comfortable too! On Saturday I had my bosses leaving do and I was thinking I've got to find an outfit. John and I went round all the shops. Nothing took my eye! Nothing! But these days it never does! I think that I just cant be bothered! Is that bad? I hate the shops - they aim so much at the younger generations I think. I dont really know where I fit fashion wise - 43 I dont think of as being old but I also dont think I can get away with wearing some of the fashions either. Anyway, I ended up not buying anything and pulled out my lovely sloppy black dress that was comfy and wore it with lovely shiny tights and my boots! John said I looked lovely. I did buy a new coat though!! Has taken me weeks and weeks to find a coat I liked! So I was happy with that. I will add some pictures of the party in the week!


Here is my Joe celebrating his birthday with his two best friends! My Joe is the one in the middle if you didnt know! Happy birthday my baby!!

Saturday, 29 November 2008

Hello at 4am

Guess what? I'm awake in the middle of the night again. That makes a change doesn't it!

I had a bad night last night, and the night before, and the night before that! It's becoming a habit now! I really need a whole night's sleep. I think now I'm actually getting to the stage where I'm worrying about it so much I don't relax enough to sleep at night. Least I havent got to work tomorrow.

I worked everday this week, so you'd think I'd be tired as I'm not used to working everyday. Yesterday, I went into work and my boss, Chris, says you are in the office. I was mortified as I hadn't prettied myself up in my office uniform and done my hair and make-up. I was in my cleaning uniform. Still it was better than cleaning and I get paid more! But, I hated going into reception not looking the part! You see I have two uniforms, one is a lovely suit, all very smart and I wear a lovely pink top with it. Then, I have my cleaning uniform which is a green t.shirt, green sweatshirt and black combat trouser, which have bleach all down them! Oh well, my boss said I looked lovely to him! He is always telling me I'm his favourite, kinda creepy! Makes me want to vomit! It does! I don't like him, he looks like the guys from 118, 118, we call him Borat or 118. But he tries his best I suppose. I reckon I could do his job better than him! Oh well.

Tonight we have the leaving party for my boss Chris and Terry. They are the current housekeeper and caretaker at Crowhurst. They are my cleaning bosses. Such lovely, lovely couple. I will miss them so so much. We have the do at Crowhurst tonight. Everyone will be there. They have been at Crowhurst since 1998. Ive worked with them for 6 years. Chris has been so good to me. She got me in the office and gives me lots of hours. Our new housekeeper and caretaker have arrived and Chris and Terry are now moved off the park into their new flat. But, they don't finish til the 20th. They are showing the new couple the ropes first. It won't be the same without them. But, we have to give the new couple a chance. They come with not a good reputation. Let's hope it won't change work too much. We all love our little cleaning job. At least my boss is not changing in the office. Im quite lucky I work in two departments.

We have little Poppy with us this weekend. I really luvs little Poppy. She is a beautiful, kind, very intelligent dog. She has been no bother whatsoever. Oscar does not mind her being here one bit. He is just ignoring her. She keeps trying to kiss him and he just moves his head away defiantly. Its a shame the weather is so atrocious. I have to let them out into the garden separately or there would be a mud bath! I'm lookng forward to taking them out later today. I'm wondering if they will be alright left together when we go out or I do have the option to take Pops back to her house while we are out. Still if I had had her as my own I would have had to have left her with Oscar. Awwwwwwww she is just the cutest. She got up with me and keeping me company. Oscar never gets up when I cant sleep. Nothing wakes him up in the middle of the night. Also I cant believe how big Oscar is. Poppy is quite a small dog really, makes Oscar look huge!

Anyway, hope you are all ok, sorry Ive not been reading much lately. I will try visit this weekend.

Laine xxx

Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Hello

Hello everybody. I got awarded the Real People Award again by Connie, thank you Connie. How lovely that people think of me! I find that really touching. Please go visit Connie sometime - she makes lovely, gorgeous tags. Such a lovely lady.

I have at last got my lovely pink leather bound Bible. I haven't started it yet. I suppose I just start from the beginning.

I worked hard at work today. Lots of cleaning. So much that my hands are red raw and very sore they are! I have to do loads more tomorrow - but Im not complaining, least I've got some work.

I played with my new little pal called Bubbly on Pet Society on Facebook last night. I visited Sara Sara's house and Mr Brains house. It was fabby fun and I likes it coz its simple! I have been trying WOW as Mr Stuart kindly sent it to me. But, I'm useless at it, I can't even make my person walk properly! I might give it another try later. It's quite scary too!

I'm still not sure whether to say anything to my so-called friend or not. She really does not have a clue that she has upset me. So I wonder if it is best just to leave it and be very evasive from now on. All my friends say I should have said something. Thing is I just can't be nasty. Other people take me for granted and talk to me how they like. I can never ever do that to other people. May be I'm too nice for me own good.

My baby will be 13 on Sunday! He is going to be a teenager! Yikes!! Awww that means all our kids are teenagers, apart from Emma, she is now 20! Awwww why do they grow up so quick?

I have decided definately that if the PGCE (Post-graduate Cert of Education) does go ahead in Hastings then I will be doing it. The only downside is that I won't be able to get my puppy then. Awwwww - but if I'm studying full-time, then go on to be a teacher, I won't have time for a puppy. Least with Oscar he is already settled and if John goes out for the whole day my friend will have him. OOOOOH Teacher or Dog? Teacher or Dog???

Laine xxxxx

Monday, 24 November 2008

Sam - Is he ok, does anyone know?

Hi, does anyone know if Sam from Docklines is ok? I know he had a mild heart attack. Has anyone heard how he is doing? Laine xxxx

Sad

I'm not posting today other than to express my sadness for our dear Pam (On Ya' Ma) who, at the weekend lost her dear little Grandson. My heart goes out to her and her family. Please visit her if you can and let her know we are all thinking of her and her family at this very sad time.

Laine xx

Sunday, 23 November 2008

Sunday evening

Hello everyone, I hope you all had a lovely weekend. I will try get round to all your journals this evening. I've just woke up after a lovely kip on the settee with my favourite blankie! I felt like a little child all cozy and curled up in front of the tv. We had been out all day and when we got back I just felt so tired, I wanted to crash so I did! I dont normally sleep during the day. Was a lovely sleep it was.

Today we went over to Eastbourne to find the boys a winter coat each. I could not believe how difficult it was to buy coats for teenagers. The childrens section in nearly every shop we went to finish at age 12 then you go to the adult section and they are too big. Where are the teenage clothes???? ARRRRRGGGH it drove me mad - we tried so many shops. In the end Sam said he would carry on wearing the coat he has - I was a bit sad about that as it is getting scruffy now! But he insisted and I could understand him being fed up. We found one for Joe in the end in JJB Sports! Its a really nice coat - I just hope he wears it. Teenagers dont like wearing coats! But it is going to be very cold!

Then we went to Bonners the music store. Its a beautiful store. Full of every musical instrument you could dream of. Sam wants a Bass guitar for Christmas and he still had money left over from his birthday in September. Joe also wanted a new electric guitar and seeing as its his birthday next week and will be getting lots of money we bought him one. Sam got his Bass Guitar and an amp. They are beautiful guitars. I have two very happy boys now! They both owe John loads of money now but they dont mind as they would rather have them now than wait.

We went to Joe's guitar school yesterday. It was brilliant to see the Grade 6 students playing. Joe is grade 3 at the moment but feels it is too hard and might go down to grade 2 in January. He did jump in at Grade 3 and it was a bit much as he has a lot of theory to learn. I was very surprised to see a friend of mine there who I went to college with and it turns out that his brother runs the guitar school. What small world!! Its a fantastic guitar school. Joe loves his lessons there. I really wish I could afford for Sam to go too. Joe has been playing for 7 years and I can't stop his lessons now but I also cant afford to pay out for both of them. Im so lucky that Sam understands. I have to pay out £240 for every ten lessons Joe has. I have asked Sam to ask his Dad to pay for him. His Dad was supposed to be helping me with Joe's. Im not stopping Joe's even if I have to scrape the money together as I know he has a talent and I want him to do well.

Im at work tomorrow. All of a sudden I dont have much work anymore. Its hard not having much work. I feel bad not bringing any money in. Specially at this time of year. But then everyone is in the same boat at the moment! Anyway, I've decided to find out about the PGCE definately as it is now in Hastings. I will phone up tomorrow. I will!

Oh, Stuart Im not sure I like WOW its scary! Im absolutely rubbish at it - I cant even get my person to walk properly!!! hee hee. Ive died so many times!!! Oh, and my bible hasnt arrived yet either - I emailed the company to see where it has got to!

Laine xx

Friday, 21 November 2008

Too funny

I shouldnt be laughing but I cant help it. John is doing the bathroom and he is trying to fix the sink to the wall and its not working. He is going mad! Like really mad. Isnt it funny when you watch someone getting cross and all you can do is laugh. Awwwww poor thing - it must be really frustrating but I really cant help laughing - it is so funny to see him ranting and raving and getting so stressed over a little tiny bolt. I've now come away - Im hiding incase he gets cross with me for laughing. tee hee.

I just love all your comments about my friend Shelley. I went for coffee this morning with my lovely friend Sue. When I told her, she couldnt believe it. My Sue would never ever be like that to me - she is lovely is Sue. When one friend is shallow and funny like Shelley it makes you appreciate the friends that are lovely and nice. I had a lovely time chatting with Sue this morning - we sat in Waterstones for two hours! I am lucky because I do have some very special friends. Why do I bother worrying about what Shelley thinks of me!

I have made a decision today. I have! Hastings is now lucky enough to have a University and it is going to be running the PGCE. (Post-graduate Certificate of Education). It is a year long course and after it you become a fully qualified teacher. Before it was only in Brighton which wasnt really feasible as its an hour away and would be hard when Ive got the boys, dog, John (lol) etc. Anyway, John thinks I should apply and see what happens. It starts in September. Deep, deep down I still have the yearning to be a teacher. John said that I should apply and then if we cant afford it I can pull out but its best to apply just incase.

hee hee I can still hear John faffing upstairs!

Laine xxxxx

Thursday, 20 November 2008

Unbelieveable!!!

Well I know I go on about her but she really took the biscuit this time! Shelley!

They were due to come here on Saturday evening for a takeaway and see us, so I thought!

Shelley asked if they could come earlier because then they could show off their new Mercedes slk to us! I said yeah thats fine! Thinking to myself - are they coming to see us or just wanting show off the car.

My Joe's Guitar school then send an invite for us all to go and watch the Grade 6 students perform on Saturday 4-6pm! So I text Shelley to say that we are attending Joe's school concert and that they wouldnt be able to come til six.

The reply from Shelly was: Oh but it will be dark then, can't show off the car, shall we leave it til another Saturday!

Can you believe that! So it downright proves that the only reason they were coming was to show off the bloody car. I text her back and said sorry but Joe comes first.

I really wanted to text her and say - look please dont bother coming if all you want to do is show off your car! Well I didnt did I. I texted saying, what a shame we were looking forward to seeing you. And, I suggested we met at lunchtime instead! I so wanted to say something but I can't, maybe its because Im just too nice.

Anyway, they cant make lunchtime so we will be arranging another day. Whoopeee I cant wait, NOT!!!

Laine xx

Wednesday, 19 November 2008

It's 5.42am

Well it's 5.42am - I've been up for an hour now. What a horrible time to not sleep. I was laying awake for ages. Tossing and turning. No point staying there. Trouble is I have to get up at seven so no point going back to bed is there? It would be too hard to get up again. Least Im up now and I dont have to do it again! Oh excuse me Im talking a lot of mumbo jumbo!! Hee hee, mumbo jumbo, not heard that for a while!



My back has been bad - I had horrendous pain last night. Hence why I cant sleep. My fidgety leg syndrome dont help either! Least I have nothing to do this morning but take the boys to school. I have Creative Writing at 1.45. So if I am tired at least I can go back to bed after dropping the boys off.



I have just been chatting to Nick on Facebook. Nick is Sam and Joe's cousin from their Dad's side of their family. I have known Nick since he was a tiny little baby boy. Well he was about two when I met him. He was always very close to me. Him and his brother Jason were always with me and my ex-husband. We took them everywhere with us! I used to love picking them up from school. Well Nick is now 28 and Jason is nearly 30! When I divorced my ex I lost touch with alot of his family but Nick has always kept in touch with me. That means alot to me. We were very close. Jason and Nick's mum and dad split up when they were very young and I was there for them both through all of that. Then Jason and Nick's Dad moved down to Devon. Nick and Jason Chose to live with there Dad, so we used to go down there a lot for holidays and we used to go on lots of days out with the boys. At the moment Nick is away traveling, he is in Cambodia now and he is moving on soon - cant remember where he said now! Anyway, he keeps in touch on facebook and we get to see his travels through his photos. Brilliant! He asked me if he was still my baby - awwwwww bless him - he still loves me. I dont hear from Jason anymore, but I am so so glad that Nick keeps in touch. It means alot to me. It seems funny to think that Joe is now 13 and that Nick was 13 when Sam was born!!! yikes!!!! Makes me feel old!



Now its ten to six! I wonder if I should go back to bed for an hour or shall I make a cup of tea. Think I will make a cup of tea - sounds more inviting to me! My bed does not like me at the moment.



Laine xxx

Monday, 17 November 2008

Awarded by Jeannette

Awwwww I had an award from Jeannette. It's the Marie Antoinette Award - This is an award for those that write about real things, not necessarily on every entry, but those who share information about themselves or where they live, what is happening in their area or in the world.





I am very very honoured to receive this, thank you very much Jeannette. Jeannette's Jottings (2).





I thought long and hard who I was going to give the award to. The rules are that you choose seven or less. Well to be honest every single person I visit deserve the award. So, I'm nominating all of you! I know its breaking the rules but I just can't choose - you all deserve it, each and every one of you write such lovely journals and you all work so hard on them. Yes, thats YOU, YOU who are reading my journal now. YOU are the winner!

Anyway, Jeannette has just told me that the whole point of this really is to let others know about other blogs. So I am putting two of my special people down. I still think you are all brilliant though ok!!!

Sara

Stuart




Here is your award;



























Laine xxxxx

Hello my dear friends.

Hello to you my dear friends.

Thank you again for the lovely comments.

I told John that I was buying a pretty pink bible. He said that it was good and that he wished he had read it more as he was growing up. Now, I thought he would be funny, so proves how wrong I was then didnt it! I'm excited about it.

I seem to have some funny friends. I've told you all about Shelley with her Mercedes. Well there is Tania who I'm quite close to. She gets paranoid that nobody likes her and that she doesnt have any friends. I tell her off when she says that and say that she wont have any if that's the attitude she carries round with her. Yesterday she phoned me to ask me out for her birthday. I told her I could not afford it as I have no work at the moment. I also do not like going out on a Saturday night without John. Call me old-fashioned, but Saturday nights are for me and John. She got all funny with me and said, well it's a bit different, its my birthday. She said, surely I could scrape some money together for her birthday. Well that just made me not want to go even more. Then when I looked on my calendar I see that Shelley and David are coming over that night anyway. She didnt like that either. Then I feel guilty. Why do I always feel guilty and why do I let these people get to me. It's not that I need them, I've got loads of friends! I think they need me more than I need them.

Now, this morning, my little Joe (Who will be 13 end of this month!) has been stealing money out of mine and John's sweet jar. John and I save coins in it and then we cash them in at Sainsburys cash machine thingy. John noticed this morning that it was looking low. I went into the boys room and asked if either of them knew anything about it. Joe looked sheepish. Sam just looked like Sam! I said, well if no-one owns up then that room is out of use and so is the computer. Then Joe pipes up, I took it for children in need. I told him that it was nice he wanted to give to Children in need but he must ask not just take as that is stealing. Then when I went downstairs to get his lunch box out of his bag guess what I found. Lot's of two pence pieces zipped up in the pocket of his bag. So he is in big trouble at the moment. For lying to me and for stealing. I dont know how to deal with it yet. I'm hurt because I've done a lot for him lately. He has had a lot too. John is going to talk to him tonight. I think I will let him do that. Im so tempted to rant and shout at him but that wont do any good. No matter how much you give him its never enough. I know he has been through a lot my little Joe, his Dad left him for two years, I moved him away from his school and his home to live with John, he has to put up with me loving three more children and a dog! He does get very jealous. But Sam doesnt do things like Joe does. Dont know how Im going to punish him. If anyone finds that manual on kids please let me know!!!

Laine xxxx

Saturday, 15 November 2008

Saturday

I didnt think I would be writing over the weekend and here I am!


I just ordered my book for my bible study with Stuart. I gots me a nice pink one! Hope it's the right one! I need this at the moment - I need a comfort and Stuart is helping me. Thank you Stuart. Why do I need it? I don't even know myself! Wierd! Everyone gives me a strange look when I say I'm going to read the bible. But, when I hear my journal friends talking about their love of god and what they read in the bible comforts them, then I want to know why. I want to know more. I'm very interested and its for me. If I tell my friends that I'm buying a bible and learning stuff they turn their noses up and say what? They think I'm going wierd. My Nan, god rest her soul, always told me that God would look after me and I believed her, I still do. She always said that we were all God's children. I miss my Nan so so much. She was the best. I've missed her now for 14 years. Love you my wonderful Nan.
I've decided to delete my Creative Journal. I'm going to delete it because it makes me feel that I've got to write something for it. If I do do any creative writing I can always post it here anyway.
I want to buy a new game. I really need something that will keep me busy but not too complicated but not boring. I really need one I can play on my laptop or one I can play on my DS. Anyone got any suggestions? I've not played on my DS for so long but I'm very reluctant to get rid of it. I am really, really in to my ipod touch at the moment. I just wish I had bought one with 16GB, mine has 8 and I have put some films on it and there is only 2GB left. The films on the ipod touch are fantastic, especially good when you cant sleep at night. I just reach out for it and I have a film to watch without waking John up.
I think I'm addicted to itunes! I just want to buy everything on it. I'm also addicted to Waterstones. Why do I want to buy a new book all the time! I just love new books. The smell of them, the feel of them, the look of them! I have so many that Ihavent read yet. Can't help buying them though! I really want the new Stephen King book! In fact, I would love to own all that he has ever wrote!
My friend texted me, the one with the new Mercedes, she and her husband are coming over to see us on 22nd Nov. Do you know what she said! She said can we arrive early so that I can see her 'Beast' in the daylight! (Her new car she means). She really doesnt have a clue does she! How am I going to show any excitement for her when it really does not mean a thing to me. It will be very hard! I am pleased for her, I just wish she wouldnt keep going on about it. Its boring to be honest! If I sat and enthused about all the books I want to read and the latest one I had bought she would not have one ounce of interest. Fast cars, expensive jewellery, perfume, shoes, clothes are not my thing! Sorry they dont interest me one bit. Ok, if Im going to a wedding or a special occasion. I prefer the simple things in life. If I had enough money to buy a Mercedes I would adopt a child that needs a loving home. I really would.
Laine xxx

Friday, 14 November 2008

Friday and Laine talks back

Thank you to each and everyone of you for your kind, kind thoughts. Some of you asked stuff so Im just gonna answer now.

Missie: I have never heard of Ambian, do I get it over the counter?

Jeannette (travels): I will try the foetal position tonight, that makes sense! Not sure what it was called, they put a huge needle into my spine and then they pumped this stuff in and it was the worst pain ever!! Never did me any good! Yes and I had an awful headache after too. Thank you for your prayers.

Sara Sara: Yeah that’s just it, it baffles my John how I do manage to get round. It doesn’t seem to restrict my movements but I haven’t worked out yet which movements make it worse!

Mort: Im not sure if a tens machine would work or not as the pain is intermittent, it like pulses. The pins and needles aren’t like a pain, are they?

Jeannette: Yeah I think it is the sciatic nerve trapped and I have the feeling that the nerve is so damaged they wouldn’t be able to do anything about it now. I might go back to the doctors but Ive had so many years of being pushed and prodded about with no solutions it puts me off. So do you have a Pogo account?

Antonella: Awwwww you had a bad night too! Yeah we should have had a chat on the phone or a game of something! Hope your back is better today. You have a lovely weekend too.

Stuart: Thank you! And, Im just about to order my Bible from Amazon!


I gave you all a nice colour I hope you like them!

I did struggle to get up this morning. Why is it that I was so comfortable this morning and could have slept for hours more! Not fair! John was a sweetheart, as usual, and took the kids to school for me so I could get ready for work at my leisure. He is lovely to me. He also said that it might be worth me going back to the Doctors. I just hate them prodding me about and then not coming up with anything, they dont seem to listen to me either - for the last 5 years Ive got fed up trying to explain how I feel over and over again to different doctors.

Work was hard going as we were so quiet. I went on Blogger and Facebook but I had to keep being descreet about it. I finished at one and John came and met me for lunch so that was nice.

After meeting John, I went to see my friend Laura who suffers from Bipolar, she has a blog but not written in it much lately as she has got herself a new job. Im really proud of her. Laura if your reading this hunni, I love you and Im proud of you for doing so well in your new job! Here is her link incase you havent visited her yet http://cairns2007.blogspot.com/ . Im trying to encourage her to write more, she is so good at it.

I've not got to work tomorrow. That's good, now I could get used to having Saturdays off! I'm back to work on Monday cleaning the lodges again. I might try and have a tidy up indoors. The house is such a mess with stuff everywhere. Ive still got all my paintings stacked up everywhere and books galore. John is so good, he has never moaned about all my clutter. We have a huge house but nowhere to put it all! What I would like is a desk. Then I could put all my stuff in it and hopefull keep more tidier!

Have a great weekend everyone. I probably wont write again til Monday.

Love Laine xxx

Tired.

You may have to excuse this entry as I really don't know what is going to come out. I'm up in the middle of the night, again, and I'm feeling very low and very very tired.

The reason I feel low is because of my sciatica. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for and i should not feel low but sometimes I can't cope anymore. Sometimes I get fed up because I can't sleep, I get fed up with the constant pins and needles in my foot, the constant pain in my legs, the not being able to walk properly and the restless legs. Sometimes I just want to be able to be comfortable like everyone else. To be able to get into bed and just sleep! I'm fed up getting up and feeling tired EVERY DAY! Then being grouchy with everyone because I'm so tired.

I had a brilliant day. I had my course, for supporting adults in their learning, in the morning. (Im talking about Thursday coz now its Friday). I enjoyed the course because I felt I was learning something and I so enjoy learning. Then in the afternoon I had my work placement for that course. I am to work in the GCSE English class, which I was part of last year. I am to support adults in their learning. I really enjoyed it! This is what I love. Teaching people, supporting people and talking to people. So thats good, I had a good day, but now Im miserable.

I've got work tomorrow, in the office, and I'm sitting here now worrying that I'm going to be just so so tired. I'm sitting here whilst my foot is doing all sorts of things. It's so hard to explain. It's like something is running round it, like a hot silver ball. That scratches all the inside of my foot constantly. And my legs are so restless! And the pain in my thighs is so dull and horrible. I suppose I should go back to the hospital. Last time I went they gave me an awful injection. It was like an epidural and it was the most painful experience I have ever had. I certainly dont want that again. When I was last there the surgeon told me that if he operated on my back, there was only a 60% chance that the pins and needles and the pain would stop. Do I take that risk! A bit invasive for just 60% chance!

I shall now go and play Freecell on Pogo to try and make me tired. I dont even know how to play the stupid game. I will take some tablets and hope that I get sufficiently tired enough to drop off to a deep sleep. Oh deep sleep how I would love to have a whole night of deep sleep.

Laine xx

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

Wednesday







Hello Friends,






I haven't got alot to say today. Just wanted to say hi and thought I would just post a few pictures for you to enjoy. I found them whilst trying to sort out my photos. They are from when my brother came to stay in the summer. The first one is of my gorgeous nephew Stanley on Hastings seafront in his most favourtie ride ever! Thats what he said! Sam is sitting in with him and that's Chris making the silly face! Then my Sam and my brother Phil and my lovely Dad. Then the last picture is all our boys together. Sam, Stanley, Joe and Chris. Just James not there. I will post some pics of James and Emma soon. James and Emma being John's eldest two.
Laine xxx






Tuesday, 11 November 2008

Happiness is Poppiness!






















Awwwwww Poppy is now my best friend's dog. My best friend is so happy with her. She is now Mia's doggy! Awwwww I looked after her today while Mia went to work as it's only her second day in her new home and Mia and I thought she shouldn't be left too much today. Here are some photos of our new found friend Poppy. Well the photos ended up above the writing! I wanted the writing to be first. Oh well. Anyway, don't you agree Poppy is just a darling! She never had any toys at her old home! Can you believe that. Now she will be so happy and have so many toys and so much love! I got to have a lovely long cuddle with her today.
Tomorrow she meets Oscar! Mia is going to bring Poppy here so as not to confuse Poppy too much about her new home . We felt it wouldnt be right for her for Oscar to suddenly bound into her home and be better for her to have a trip out to me. We hope they get on as I am going to look after Poppy at the end of the month. She is just beautiful!!
Laine xxx












Monday, 10 November 2008

Thank you all so so much

I cant tell you how all your comments have touched me! I had a few tears I must admit. You are all really very lovely friends. True friends. Thank you so so much. You are all so right! I have got lots to be thankful for! I should feel sorry for my friend because she has to have things like that to cheer her up. I am not jealous of her situation, by no means. To be honest if I had enough money to buy two mercs I would not be spending it on them, no way. I'd have a huge house with a big garden and I would have loads of dogs and I would run my own boarding kennels that's what I would do.

This car thing is the last straw really. All through this year I've had to listen to her telling me about her holidays, her beautiful new kitchen with its imported granite that cost £20,000! I think its all beautiful - I love her kitchen and I love her house and I am genuinely pleased for her. She has a ring that cost £3,000!! £3,000 for a ring!! come on!!! That's a holiday for me and my kids, that's four more Oscars!! I don't need money and things to make me happy. I need my family, my friends, my dog and love. You are all right, I am rich.

Sunday, 9 November 2008

Money

I have a friend named Shelley and her and her husband have a lot of money. They are rich. They have a beautiful house, they go on beautiful holidays, she has beautiful things. I'm always, always pleased for them and have watched them go from being in a very small house with hardly anything to a lovely big house that is beautifully decorated. It's great that they have done well and I would never ever begrudge anyone of what they have. They don't have children as they feel they are too selfish and love their holidays too much. Shelley also does not have her Mum and Dad around anymore as they died a few years ago. I feel I am luckier than her because I do have 5 beautiful children and I do have my Mum and Dad around still.

But, she has annoyed me today. The other day I spent two hours pouring my heart out to her. She asked me how things were and I told her all about John not being happy in his job and that he was very concerned about the future and whether he would still be in a job in six months time. Also my ex had not been paying maintenance and times were very hard for us financially. We really have to watch what we spend and are trying to get our finances straight incase John does lose his job. Today she tells me that she has bought herself a treat. Fair enough. Anyway the treat is a Mercedes slk. Fair enough if she sent me one picture of it but she has sent me 5! One picture is called Mr and Mrs Merc and has her Mercedes and David's Mercedes side by side! Now am I supposed to be delirously happy for them or what!! Am I being horrible!

Tagged for six things.

I've been tagged by my lovely friend Jane of Rattlebox http://rattlebox-rcfairy.blogspot.com/ she tagged me a little while ago actually but it's taken me a while to think of six things about me. I'm now up in the middle of the night, I can' t sleep! So here we go. You might all hate me after this!

1. I had a lovely childhood, great parents, great brother and a happy life but something happened when I was growing up that shouldn't have - that plays on my mind alot. I have forgiven the person who did it and love him dearly but it did give me a lot of problems that Im now over. Sorry to be so cryptic but I really can't say it out loud.

2. I've had two very close friends in my life turn their backs on me and that hurts. I still think about them alot and still love them. I never ever wanted to hurt them but they think I have done so intentionally. One turned their back on me when I went through my divorce and said how could I do it and then she took sides with my ex. The other friend turned her back on me when I would not write a statement about her ex-husband as she didnt want him to see his girls. He still hasnt seen his girls and I could never ever have been a party to that. He has never ever been violent or abusive to his girls and all he has done is love them dearly. I could not stand by my friend and watch her turn her daughters against their father just for her own selfish reasons.

3. I was married to a man that controlled me and never ever let me be the person I am. I was married for 16 years. The first few years were happy but as time went on I knew I had made a mistake. I was miserable. I had an affair with a married man, worse still he was married to my friend. He blackmailed me to keep me quiet and he controlled my life too. I had a terrible time and wont go into it all now - might do one day. (see you all hate me now - how could I do such a thing.) So during my marraige my life was complicated - I had two affairs and slept around. I was a very bad person then.

4. I gave birth to two beautiful boys and I love them more than anything else in the world. They are my life and I'm so proud of them. If were not for them I would have not got through my marraige and my affairs. They are what kept me going. When I was about to give up on the world it was them that gave me the strength to carry on. When things were really tough and I was having counselling, my marraige at an end, I nearly walked away from them because of my head, but I didnt, I then had the strength to end my marraige and I've never looked back. I now have three beautiful step-children too and I love them very very much. I feel so lucky to have 5 wonderful children and know that they all love me as much as I love them.

5. I am totallly in love and totally happy with my John. He is my saviour, he is the only one that knows me through and through. He loves me, he cares for me, he understands me and he makes me so happy. Most of all he lets me be me! We have our fights and we have our off days but hey, life isnt always perfect. We love being together and we look forward to our future together all the time. I feel like I have been given another chance, a second life. John knows all about my past and what I did and how I felt. He never judged me he listened. He understood and he loves me.

6. I always want to feel loved. I hate it if anyone has a problem with me. I'm a people person. I love meeting people. I make friends easily and Im very trusting. Being very trusting is one of my failings and I don't see any bad in anyone. I never ever judge anybody and I'm a good listener. When I say I care I totally mean it. My life is so happy now that Im scared someone will come and take it all away from me. I treasure every moment.

Laine x

Friday, 7 November 2008

Another weekend.

John and I have the weekend to ourselves again. Really looking forward to it. John has been so stressed lately and tonight he is in a very good mood and even dancing round the room as we speak. (He will probably get on my nerves now!).

Tomorrow we plan to go and see John's daughter Emma for lunch. We will meet her in Maidstone and we are going to go to an Italian restaurant called ZiZi's. I was going to meet her on my own but thought it would be nice for John to see her as well. After all, it is his daughter! I expect I will have a day with her soon so we can catch up on girlie stuff. I hope so.

I've been still talking to John about another dog. I've been looking at Rottweiller puppies and Golden Retriever puppies! Awwww so gorgeous. I wonder what Oscar would prefer. I know John would prefer another Goldie. Anyway, a long way off yet.

Today I had my friend's little girl, Livvy, round to make Christmas Cards with me. We got into a mess and had fun. It was lovely to be with a little one again doing stuff together. She is only 7. It was lovely, reminded me of when I was working at the school, the nice bits.

Did about nuclear fission today in Science I did! Its all rather involved this physics stuff. Not sure I will ever get it all! Some of it is sinking in. We have got the exams in January! Then it will all be over, no more science classes. Quite sad really!

Anyway, have a good weekend all.
Laine xxxx

Thursday, 6 November 2008

Today I met Poppy

Today I met Poppy and we had a cuddle. She is lovely just like I thought she would be. Maria is going to have her and picks her up on Monday. I'm so so pleased for Maria and Poppy, also pleased for Jason, Maria's son, who has always wanted a dog of his own. Poppy really took to me, Maria and Jason. At the end of November Maria has to go away and guess what!!! yay I get to have her for a whole weekend!! yay!!! Everyone is happy. xxxx

Wednesday, 5 November 2008

A decsion about Poppy has been made

Hello everyone.

John and I have talked and talked. We have both decided together not to have Poppy. But....... there is a but! My best friend, Maria, is thinking of having her instead. She has always wanted a dog and she said to me that if I decide not to have Poppy then she would have her. I still really want Poppy but its not the right time. John can't get his head round it - too much going on for him at the moment. He also has his heart set on another Goldie. We would both have to be happy to welcome Poppy into our home and as I knew that Maria would give her a lovely home too I have decided Maria should have her! I will get to still take Poppy out with Oscar and I will also look after Poppy when Maria goes away. That's if Maria decides to have her. Maria and I will go see Serena tomorrow, Serena is Poppy's mummy. Serena is an old friend of Maria and I. I'm happy about this. Will fill you in on what Maria decides.

Love Laine xxx

Thinking of Poppy

Hello everyone, like you all I have fallen in love with that gorgeous looking Poppy. I'm not sure if we will be able to give her a home though. John is worried about money. He also had his heart set on having another Golden Retriever. He also said he wasn't sure if he likes collie type dogs. Well me, being an animal lover, loves every type of dog! It wouldnt matter what dog or animal you put in front of me I would love it. I'm an animal person. I understand animals. I talk to them. John loves Oscar he really does and he would never ever regret getting him. But, he doesnt understand Oscar like I do. I talk to Oscar and I knows that Oscar would love Poppy as a friend. He told me! John hasn't got the same connection with animals as I have. No matter how much John loves Oscar he will never understand him like I do. That's why its so difficult for John to just accept Poppy into our home just like that. I would! I wouldnt even think about it! I would go and get her right now. Poppy and I would sit down, we would talk. We would come to an understanding and we would be alright. Oscar and I came to an understanding when he was just 8 weeks old. So it will be a bit harder for Poppy and I as she is two years old. But, I know that in time, we would bond and she would love me and talk to me just as Oscar does.

I know when Oscar is sad, I know when Oscar is happy, I know when he is ill, I know what he wants. I awake when he awakes, I'm there for him always. I want to do the same for Poppy too.

I just have to wait now for John to decide. We can't have Poppy unless we are both happy about it. She needs a Mummy and a Daddy.

Laine xxx

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Poppy







Well this is Poppy - and I'm thinking about her.






oh noooooooooooooooooooo

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww - my friend has to get rid of her dog because she works alot more now and she feels that it is unfair on the dog to be always stuck at home and that she cant give her the time. She is a Collie Cross Springer! She is only two years old. I have just been chatting to her and she said that she is a very loving dog and also a very lazy one! She said she gets on with other dogs but hates cats! LOL Well Oscar, I'm sure, would love a companion. But, there is a big but! John said a little while back that we could not afford another dog! I have never met my friend's dog. Awwwww I want her! My friend wants her to go to a loving home. What would Oscar think? What would John think? My friend said that I could have her for a trial if I wanted. I really, really, really want another dog - but John does not want us to have more responsibilities at the moment. I can understand that! I haven't arranged to go see the dog yet but I have her phone number and all I have to do is ask John. Will let you all know what happens.

Laine xxx

Monday, 3 November 2008

Monday

First of all I want to give a big hug to two very dear bloggy friends - they need hugs right now. Special hugs for you my dear friends. (They know who they are :0) ).

Not got so much work on at the moment - but thats a good thing. I was getting too much work. Now Im just down to Monday, Friday and Saturdays again. Even better I have this coming Saturday off. I cant remember when I had a Saturday off! yay!!! Dont know what Im going to do yet but I will enjoy it!!

I have loads of homework to do for college and just cant get motivated to do any. Both John and I cant be motivated to do anything these days. I suppose its the winter that does it. I just want to do nothing!

I feel tired a lot lately. I can't sleep at night because of my sciatica and I dont sleep during the day. I dont have a nap or anything. I purposefully dont let myself sleep in the day thinking it might help at night. I've gone off my food lately too, I feel really hungry then I get halfway through a meal and then dont want it. And, in the mornings when I clean my teeth I reach! Its horrible!

John is still worried about what to do about his job. Does he stay in the job he is in or does he go back to his old job. Cant remember if I told you or not but his previous employer approached him and asked him to come back. Its all hard to explain but he is very confused and does not know what to do.

Right Im off out with Oscar, Oscar - I hope there are no fireworks!!!

Laine xxxx

Sunday, 2 November 2008

Sunday Chill

I got up at 11.30 today! I had a lay in. I was supposed to take Joe to his friend's house early and because Sunday is my only lay-in day, John volunteered to take him for me! Isnt he lovely! When he had dropped Joe off he came back to bed for a cuddle - thats nice! But it means that I stay in bed longer! The weather is not very nice so I dont feel so bad.

My poor doggie hasnt been out for two days! I feel so bad!! The reason he didnt go out yesterday was because there were too many fireworks about and I couldnt take him during the day because I was at work. He does have a nice big garden to run around in but I do hate it when I feel like Im neglecting him. Oscar is absolutely terrified of fireworks. We put the tv on really loud last night so as to muffle the sound. We also completely ignored him and he soon settled down. Sounds mean but I think if we make a fuss of him then it makes him worse.

The electrics went on one side of the kitchen yesterday. On Friday night I thought, oh dam the fridge light isnt working. Then yesterday afternoon Sam went to make a cup of tea and he said, mummy the kettle isnt working! Suddenly I clicked the fridge and freezer had been turned off all night!!! I was worried about the £2,000 worth of growth hormone that is in the fridge! But the fridge seemed still quite cold and the freeezer was still quite frozen. I think its all alright. Anyway we had to get the extension lead and plug them in like that. They are now in the middle of the kitchen. John does not have a clue what is wrong, he tried the fuse but its not that. He has now gone out to see if he can buy some bits to fix it. Sounds like we may have to get an electrician in. More money!!

We went to see the new James Bond film last night! It is pants!! Totally boring and I would not recommend it. I love James Bond but this is not the best! Bring back Roger Moore I say! James Bond used to be cheesy and suave and funny and brilliant!! What happened.

Enjoy your Sunday folks.
Laine xxxx

Friday, 31 October 2008

Friday

Thank you all so much for your lovely comments. I was a little down and feeling sorry for myself - I think we all feel like that sometimes. It was also that time of the month, so that didnt help.
I feel a lot better now.

I've been worried about a lot of things - but a lot of things are slowly getting sorted out.

I got new straightners today, yay! Hopefully they will do my hair alot better than the old ones did. I also bought some products from my hairdresser and hopefully next time I do my hair myself it will be how I like it!!

The time flew by at work today. We really were busy all morning. I couldnt believe it when I looked at the clock and it was five past one! I finished at two so it was a nice surprise to see that the morning had gone by so quickly.

Cant believe it's the weekend again already. The half-term holiday over and the kids will be back on Monday!

My ex has finally paid the maintenance, or so he says - I havent received it yet - I know it takes a few days so Im hoping he is not lying and he really has paid. So annoying when he keeps being late with payments. John pays maintenance for his children and we have never ever been late or missed a payment, not once!

Got a new nurse coming this afternoon. Sam is changing his device for administering his growth hormone. He will now be using the Easypod - its a really cool device. You pop the cartridge of drug into the side and then put the Easypod onto the skin. It detects whether it is in the right place or not and then bleeps at you when it is ready. You can adjust the needle as to how deep it goes and whether it is slow or fast. Sam will get it demonstrated to him this afternoon. It will mean a lot less work for me as the other injection needed a lot of preparation. Joe has decided to have it too so soon they will both be using the Easypod! yay!

It's so cold! I hope you are all keeping warm. Im not looking forward to work tomorrow, Im cleaning lodges and I'd rather be tucked up in bed!

Not much to say today, sorry Im boring today.
Laine xxx

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Fed up

Bit fed up today.

Could not do my hair nice like my lovely hairdresser did - so I've booked an appointment for tomorrow and she will do it for me again. I liked how she straightened it and it looked all glossy. Today it looks all flippin frizzy again! hmmmph. Think I need new straightners! Least having it done tomorrow it will then be all nice to go to my mum's on Thursday and it will cheer me up!

Was very boring at work today - had to watch the clock all day - there was no work and I was there 9 til 5.30. A man got cross with me because someone smashed into his car. He asked if we had CCTV cameras working and I said sorry no. He was hoping it was caught on camera. I can understand that he was upset but what was I supposed to do about it! People think that when you are a receptionist you can do everything and that you know everything! I will always be very kind to any receptionist I come across because now I know how hard their job is!

My friend has asked me to go round her's tonight and put low-lights in her hair! EEEEK I hope she has insurance!! I really could have done with a night in but I never say NO!

Im fed up. I want to cry. I need a cuddle.

Sunday, 26 October 2008

Sunday night, Nearly Monday morning

Hmmph, can't sleep. I know, I know, not given it much chance. It's ten to midnight and I've only been in bed for about an hour. My legs are restless and my toes are full of pins and needles, not my sciatica at its best! I did fall asleep whilst reading my book but my legs woke me up. Impossible to try and lay there like that.

Im disappointed. I love Sugar Puffs. I do. Now, John is a one for buying cheap stuff and he has gone and bought Sainsburys own Sugar Puffs called Golden Puffs. Oh my! They are not the same! I have just tried to eat a bowl. I will be going out to buy my own box of Sugar Puffs and I wont share them! Naughty John! How dare he buy a cheap version of my favourite cereal. He wouldnt dare do it for Weetabix - crikey I would never eat cheap weetabix. Sigh.

Money is tight at the moment. I suppose it is the same for everyone. Im glad I had my hair done because it looks nice but I shouldnt have really because now I have gone overdrawn. John isnt happy about that. Im not happy about that. My ex husband has failed to pay maintenance this month. I can't believe that he cant even get a direct debit sorted out. He is ordered by the court to pay by the 30th of each month. It is now nearly the 30th of October and I havent yet got the September payment! I hate it how he can still control part of my life. I will now go overdrawn because of him.

I have a busy week ahead. It's half-term and the kids are about so I dont have to do school runs. Which will be nice in the morning to just get up, get myself ready and go straight to work instead of sorting kids out first. I'm working til One (in the office), then have my private job in the afternoon at Three. Mia, my bestest friend in the whole world, and I clean a house together every week. Its a little bit of extra money that helps! Tuesday Im working til 5.30 in the office. Wednesday, oooh poor Sam has his bottom braces put on on Wednesday then he has his flu jab in the afternoon. Also on Wednesday Sam's new injection arrives. We are really excited about that. It will be so much easier to administer his injections and we have also persuaded Joe to have it too. Injections will be so much easier all round, for me and for them! I hope! Then Thursday we go to my Mum and Dad's, over to Brighton, my car is going to be fixed by my cousin, hopefully! And poor Sam and Joe have the dentist! Then Friday Im working in the office again, then Saturday Im working, cleaning. Phew!

I will go now as you will all be bored to tears!

Laine xxx

My new hair-do!!




Well here is my new hair-do - I hate taking pics of myself. I have got four different colours in my hair now but you can't really capture it in the indoor light. We havent been out so I never asked John to take any. It's naff weather this weekend! So we havent done much, apart from just being together. We are going to brave the weather this afternoon though, so thats why I took a pic now while my hair is still nice and not wet and windswept! It will be later!
I think we will walk along the seafront, I love the sea when its rough weather! We will have to wrap up though!
More laters people.
Sorry Stuart, only hair pics!! hee hee!!! (private joke!)

Laine xx

Friday, 24 October 2008

Friday Hair do!

Oh I can't tell you how much better I feel! I do! New hair do! No pic yet because its dark now and it won't take very well - but I promise that I will get John to do a pic of me over the weekend! It looks so natural! I'm a happy bunny and I love my new hairdresser, Vicky. Vicky is lovely, she is 22 and she chatted to me the whole time - I love chatting! I think I've found a hairdresser at last!

The boys go to their Dad's in a minute. So John and I may go out to our favourite pub in Icklesham, The Queens Head. We can take Oscar too. He can curl up under our table while we have our favourite pub meal by a lovely warm open fire! Or, we could go to our favourite Chinese Restaurant and eat as much as we like for £11.95, but Oscar can't come there! OOOOH, I don't know where to choose! Im soooooooooo hungry, I don't think I really mind where we go. We haven't really got alot of money so we can't go mad! But it will be nice to go out. I will wait til John gets home then we will decide.

I've got to work tomorrow morning, cleaning, but John said he will come and help me so we can get it done quick. Then we have the whole of Saturday and the whole of Sunday together!! We will take Oscar for lots of long walks, we will hold hands lots, and do sex (see Sara!!!! OOOH), blame Sara Sara for me saying that! hee hee. We will just enjoy being the two of us! We will love watching X-Factor with no interruptions and we will love the hardly any washing up! Teenagers do create lots of washing-up! We will also enjoy having food when we want it and not when hungry teenagers want it. We will just enjoy peace!

Thank you all so much for you lovely comments about my silly Oscar! Sugar your so right! I never thought of that, of course he chases the cats in our garden, because it's his garden! Never thought of that! I know this sounds really horrible to Oscar but I cant wait for him to meet George again. It was so funny! I will take a picture next time! I hope Oscar gets used to him. When I take Oscar to my friend Joe's house, he doesnt take any notice of Sooty, Joe's black cat. Funny that!

OOOOH I do like my hair!
Laine xxx

Thursday, 23 October 2008

Oscar and George

I took Oscar to my friend's house today to meet her new cat George. I wanted them to meet because Carol sometimes looks after Oscar and it would be good for him to meet his new friend. My friend's dog is getting used to the new addition. But, oh poor Oscar what a wreck! He was so frightened. Frightened of a little ginger kitten that is only 4 months old!!! Oh my!! My great big Golden Retriever who chases the cats out of our garden, barking profusely, was scared! He lept up onto Carol's lap and was begging her to take this alien creature away. So when he chases the cats out the garden he is just putting on the 'big I am' act. If only the cats knew that if they didnt move, Oscar would probably back away scared as hell LOL!!! It was so funny to see. So I don't think I will be getting a cat then! I so wish I'd had my camera!!

Also I have to apologise people. It's my fault that this week went so quick and that we are nearly Friday already. I have been wishing it away because Im all excited to get my hair done tomorrow - I am! Hopefully it will be back to proper blond and I won't make it red again! I wont! Also John and I have a weekend all to ourselves we do! So I apologise for making this week zoom by!!




Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Wednesday

This is a pic of Chris, Joe and Sam when we went to the Long Man of Wilmington. John's youngest Chris (15) and my baby Joe (12) and my big boy Sam (15). John also has James who is 16 and Emma who is 20. I will try to find some recent pics of them too. We are so lucky to have such lovely kids.


Thank you for your kind comments. It makes me smile when I see people commenting on my blog!


Firstly, just to answer Dolores question, No I don't nap during the day, I used to when the kids were small. But not nowadays - I make sure I don't no matter how tired I am. Anyway, on that note, I did sleep better last night. I just went to bed when I was tired. I did a lot of work on my creative writing last night. I am enjoying it. Then I read myself to sleep.


Sara Sara! Guess what? I had a doll named suzy too! I also had a doll called 'doll, doll'. I also had Big Ted and Little Ted. And Big Ted sits on my chair in the lounge, he is a bit old now!


Thank you for the comments about Sam. I will calm down and I'm not going to pressurise him. I still can't help worrying though. He is a very bright lad but his head is in the clouds. I suppose most 15 years olds heads are! Bless them. I do love teenagers. I got cross with someone yesterday, 15 year olds just seem to be labelled as yobs and louts. Yes a small majority of them are but if you have a 15 year old, you know that they are young adults trying to find their way in this awful world and I do hate it when people just think they are all the same. Well my Sam is not a lout, he is not a yob, he is a wonderful, lovely, loving boy. He is kind, caring and very well mannered. All his friends are too! I absolutely love it when he has his friends round, they are such fun and make me laugh. I treasure my boys.


Tuesday, 21 October 2008

Tuesday

Is it Tuesday? Already? I had to think then!

I couldn't get to sleep last night. I couldnt get tired!! I read for ages! Love my book! I eventually did drop off then the book hit me on the head and promptly woke me up again, I wonder how long I'd been asleep! But I carried on reading for a bit longer then eventually gave up and tried to sleep - I dont know how long it took but I must have got there in the end because next thing it was 7am and my alarm was singing to me!

I have lots of homework tonight but I cant get into it - I keep playing a word game on facebook and trying to beat the high score! Then I play about with my blog and read other blogs. I've written some more on my creative writing blog. I'm quite enjoying the fact that I have a story inside me and I just dont know what is going to come out. Stuart was right you just write and it comes! Please visit my creative writing blog if you havent already - the link is on the side!

Laine xx

Can't sleep but so tired.

I can't sleep. I know if I don't get to sleep soon I will not want to get up in the morning. My foot is buzzing like a gud'un That's my sciatica playing up! Then my silly stupid fidgety leg syndrome - which has been with me for like forever! So no matter how tired I am I just can't get comfortable. Now I think Im losing my marbles! I had a tablet in my hand just now and I can't remember if I've taken it or lost it! I'm 43 not 93!! It's totally disappeared!

Lot's of things on my mind. I actually feel like I'm inside a tunnel and there are things going on around me but I'm not really there. Hard to explain! It's like I'm waiting for something. What am I waiting for. I'm 43 and the thing I've been waiting for hasn't happened. Will it happen? What the hell is it? Now I really think Im going mad!

The children have grown up so quick. Where the hell did that time go? I haven't had time to enjoy them - I know I still can! But, did I really appreciate them enough when they were little. Should I go back and do it all again? Did I do it right? I keep wondering if Joe feels secure. Me and him have always fallen out, we drive each other mad. Well he used to drive me mad. He doesnt so much now, but he has been the hardest of the two.

I think when my boys Dad left to go and live in California it put a lot of insecurity in their minds. Not so much Sam - he was older. But Joe, crikey Joe went through hell - he never understood why his Daddy left and why he went away for so long. Two years is a long time when you are only 5. Well by the time he came back Joe was 7 and welcomed him back. Sam was 9 and wasnt so welcoming but he felt secure in his life with me and John. Joe always wanted his Mummy and Daddy back together. He felt torn. How awful for my little boy to have gone through so much. Well how awful for both of them. Sam told me the other day that I'm the best mum in the world, now not many 15 year olds say that to their mum do they? I still can't find that tablet you know.

I'm starting to ramble now - about a load of nothingness. I'm wondering if I should write about my past in here so you all know who I am - because you don't really know me. I'm in a different life now - I call it my new life, with John. I never ever thought I would be happy, I never ever thought I would love someone so much it hurts. That's why I get worried - I think that someone will take it all away from me. I worry that my life is speeding past so fast that soon I will die and then I won't be able to enjoy it anymore. I worry about dying alot. Why?

What the hell did I do with the tablet?

Now can anyone answer this. My Sam is a bright and intelligent boy but his grades have been down the last couple of years. He is now in his GCSE years. He takes English and Maths this year. Do I make him sit down every night to do an old exam paper or do I leave him to get on with it? Is it my fault his grades have been down? Should I worry? I am worried. He is in all the top groups and is doing the Higher exams. He is busy being a prefect and wants to be Head Boy next year. He is well liked and very popular. Should I worry about his schooling? Is there anything i can do to change his lack of motivation? He is a 15 year old boy who loves being with his friends and is happy. Do I make him into a moody teenager by putting demands on him. Am I too laid back?

Im going to stop now - I must have totally bored you and lost you by now.

Monday, 20 October 2008

Think this is better?

I've tried to find a background for my blog that makes it easy for my readers to read but also still makes it pretty. Stuart found it difficult to read the last one so I've now changed it to this one as it still has a butterfly on it! If anyone knows where I can get a butterfly background with a white middle please let me know the link! Thanks.

I'm all cosy in my lovely settee. I still feel so incredibly tired! Also I ache all over! My friend will be round in a mo for a cup of tea. I've not taken Oscar out yet - it's blowing a gale outside and it is probably about to rain. Not sure if Oscar will get a walk today - I feel guilty! Oscar stop looking at me! I think he understands that Mummy is feeling poorly he is looking sleepy now.

Happy

I spent hours yesterday making my blogs look pretty and I think the time has paid off! It was easy really I just went to a site that does backgrounds for free. If you look at the top left-hand corner of my blog then you will see the site link for backgrounds! I feel like Im feeling a bit more at home here in blogger world. I have now put a list of the blogs I read down the side of my blog too, this lets me know when people have made an entry. I feel better about that now! I really like the background on my Creative Writing blog - go check it out!! Its very pink - hee hee. I still need to write the next bit of my story.

I got my new phone today - I was very lucky as when I got home from work I noticed the UPS van at the top of my Close and he was having his lunch so I cheekily tapped on his window and said could he redeliver. I would have missed him had he not stopped for lunch so that was good!

I'm cold today, it's really cold! I've not got so much work this week which is good. I really have worked alot lately. I've got lots of college stuff on though. I'm doing a Adult Learner support class and we have to do work placements for it so Im busy doing that this week. Tomorow I'm observing a digital photography class and on Thursday my work placement starts in the English GCSE class which I did last year so it should be ok.

I'm really loving Duma Key by Stephen King - think I told you that but I had to say it again.

Laine xx

Sunday, 19 October 2008

Hours

Well I have taken hours trying to make my blog look pretty. Tell me if you like it or not. Is it now hard to read? I chose butterflies because they are a symbol of hope and I like to always think that there is hope in all our lives.

Love Lainey xxx

Feel kind of strange.

Its sunday, my day off! Day of rest! Hmmmm I feel absoultely warn out! Really, really tired. I dont know if I have a cold coming or not. Yesterday I was sneezing all day. I feel like all my energy has been drained out of me. But, so much to do!

After work yesterday John and I went into town. I went into my favourite shop, Waterstones! I bought three books. It was three for two!!! yay!!! I got Stephen King's 'Duma Key' - oh my god I cant put that down already!! Im loving it! Also I bought Lionel Shriver's 'We need to talk about Kevin', always wanted to read it and never got round to it. Also bought Celia Aherne's PS, I Love you as my Mum says that's good too. OOOOh how I love it when I have new books!! I love the smell of them, don't you? Not sure I could like the Sony Reader - you can't beat the feel and smell of a book!

Hastings fireworks last night were superb! Fantastic, they went right out onto the sea it was so beautiful! One firework sent down lots of lights that floated on the sea for ages!

Im getting a new phone!! My old phone the Sony Ericcson K850i has played up so much since I got it - it has a fantastic camera on it but it keeps turning itself off and its very annoying when you dont know its off and miss calls or texts! I sent it back once and now the new one is just the same problem so I phoned Virgin, who I must stay are brilliant at Customer Service, they really have got it sorted. Im now going to have a brand new spanky new! Sony Ericcson C902. I told them they could not possibly give me another K850i as its not of Merchantable quality and as soon as I said that I got the upgrade! My lucky day. I've read all the reviews and they actually sort of admit that the K850i had its flaws and they have hopefully corrected them with the C902. Sorry that was boring but Im excited to get a new phone!

Today we are having mexican for lunch, Nachos, corn, salsa, sour cream, fajitas, crispy ones and soft ones!! oooooh!!!! I likes Mexican specially when John is cooking it.

Then a nice long walk with our lovely Oscar.

I hope I get more energy back!

Have a lovely Sunday people.

p.s. Laura I enjoyed you coming round too and tell your mummy I love my Dumbo keyring that lights up I do!!

Lainey xxx

Saturday, 18 October 2008

At Work

I'm at work. I'm at my desk. We are bored. Just Kate and I in today. All the work is up to date and we have nothing to do. Have to be here til two and Kate has to be here til five. Don't know how she will survive if it doesnt get any busier! We want the phones to ring! Mind you we are having a good ole gossip though. And the views out the window are stunning today. The weather is gorgeous - beautiful blue skies!

I just phoned John and he is still in bed! Its 11.00am! He came back from Barcelona last night and he is absolutely shattered! Bless him! I don't suppose he will be doing anymore to the bathroom today then!!

I'm not sure I'm happy here at Blogger - I'm happy that I have lots of followers but the comments seem to be getting scarce! I sort of wonder why I bother writing if no-one is reading! Also I find it hard to keep up with other blogs too and also to know when someone has commented on your entry. If they comment on an older entry how are we supposed to know! We might miss it! Im just rambling now coz Im sitting here bored at work.

Hey hum!

Plays with pen and taps on desk! Oh well least I have time to read your blogs! Which I will go and do right now.

Lainey xxxx