Sunday, 28 February 2010

I tried!

Ive tried to do an entry several times in the last few days and gave up as it kept disappearing! I got fed up I did!

Ive been in pain again. But, Im hoping that my MRI scan date will come through soon then the consultant can go ahead with my operation!

Ive been wondering what to do with my life. Sounds strange I know. Well you are probably thinking to yourselves, well she has just got herself that job she always wanted, and I have and Im really happy there. There are issues but there are in any job. You see, John's job is looking very dicy lately, he could lose it at any time and also he is very very miserable as he works so hard but his colleagues seem to always do things wrong to make his work fail or make John look stupid. Long story so wont go into it but the upshot is that weve got to think of someway for John to leave work and be happy!

Lots of options:

He could concentrate on his business for selling handles. He makes and sells stainless steel handles but he only does it very part-time at the moment. He has all the machinery and he has perfected the handles. He does have one buyer that is reliable too. The only thing about doing it full-time is that he is worried that a) he might not get more customers, b) he might hurt his back doing it full-time (coz his back is dodgy) and c) it will be very hard-going at first money wise. Advantages, he would stop hating Sunday evenings and Monday mornings, he would not be bored anymore, he would work for himself, he would be happier!

He would have to think of other things to do as well as the handles. The thing is we do not have any savings and have some debt so it would be hard to just get rid of the day job. If his job did come to an end then we would be forced into doing something.

Now, if John does decide to work for himself I may start thinking of things that I could do too. We are both fed up being in the rat-race. You know, like being governed by other people, rules and regulations. At the moment we find that the weekends are so precious but go much too quickly. Im ok once I get to work, I do love my job but I love John more and want him to be happy, I want us both to enjoy life! Life is so short. There are so many things I want to do!

Here is a list of options for me for working from home;

Be a foster carer (well both John and I want to do that) we have discussed at length and really miss our children being little. I would love to give children the love that we have to give. I know it wouldnt be easy but it would be very rewarding too.
be a respite carer,
be a doggy boarder, look after people's doggies when they on holiday or at work, a dog-walking service maybe (not possible til Ive had me op though)
Start up a shop on Ebay, I want to start a craft shop, scrap-booking materials etc.
Breed Golden Retrievers.
Some sort of social care work, with children who need time out and someone to talk to.
An art group for local community.
Parent and Toddler art group, or art group for kids.
Set up my own cleaning business.

So you see I have lots to think about.

John's brother recently was made redundant and he got a good pay-out so he is able now to do things that he likes doing, he has set up an ebay shop, his wife helps out with it too. His wife has her own cleaning/ironing business. He also trades on the stock exchange. He also has trained to be a driving instructor. His life is so so much happier now. He no longer dreads Sunday nights and Monday mornings. It was great to see them so happy. Oh I best give you a link for their shop!

It's Butterfly Nest Interiors.

Also, my brother gave up his job through ill-health and he now runs his own business as a painter and decorator. He is soooooo much happier. Makes you think though doesnt it!

I think we have to do something soon before John has a nervous break-down!

Thanks for listening.
Laine xxxxx

Monday, 22 February 2010


OOOOH look at me two days in a row and Im here!

Thank you all so much for your comments. I am pleased something is being done about my back. Im a little scared though but at the same time pleased! Just have to wait for date for MRI first.

Was back at work today. All back to school! Awwww its test week this week and I have to get my little ones to do tests and I cant help them! I hate tests I do! My little group did really well and worked very hard, not very high scores but they tried their bestest! It all helps so we know what level they are at and what has gone into those tiny little minds. They do have to learn so much!

Tomorrow is Tuesday and Tuesday is one of my favourite days. We have the storyteller on a Tuesday. He is brilliant and funny and the children love him! He makes us laugh, he makes us sing, we sing about everything. We go walking in the woods and we talk about birds and creatures that live in the woods but he does it in a story way and gets the children all involved. The little boy that I look after who has autism absolutely loves the story man. When we went for a walk in the woods 'E' held Kevin's hands and told him that he was keeping them warm for him. Such a lovely thing to do! Story man is called Kevin!

Rain! Rain! and yet more rain!! We have big big huge, huge, lake like puddles in the roads! So bad that I thought my car would drown!

My car has her MOT tomorrow, please pray peoples coz she needs to pass as I forgot MOT is due by 26th Feb! And Tax is due for end of Feb! So I really dont want it to fail tomorrow!

We have a lady at work whose birthday it is on 29th Feb!! Well!! How about that! She doesnt get to have her actual birthday very often. She celebrates on the 28th. I think I would celebrate on two days!

Laine xxxx

Sunday, 21 February 2010


Its my mum's birthday tomorrow. So today we went there for a nice Roastie din dins and lovely apple crumbly and custard! It was so yummy! Im still filled up and its past tea-time. I do like going to dinner at my mum and dad's and then afterwards snuggling on the sofa with the sunday papers and maybe a little kip!

I made my mum's card. Some of you have already seen it on Facebook. I felt like being Arty again, havent been arty farty for a long time. I got my watercolour paints out and did this;

It looks quite nice on my mum's mantelpiece.

Its back to work tomorrow after a lovely long week off. I dont hate my job though. With my job you never ever know what's going to happen from one day to the next. How can you with 4/5/6 yr olds! Bless them!

I see the weather says raining all week! I hope not! I do despise wet play! Its much better when the kids can get out and let the wind in their hair and have a good play!

Thanks for reading!
Laine xxxxxx

Saturday, 20 February 2010

My back

I went to the hospital yesterday to see doc about my back. I had put it off for so long. I do have a fear of hospitals and doctors, they intimidate me, they dont mean to its just the way I feel. Anyway, I shouldnt have worried, he was brilliant! He understood how I was and has booked me an MRI scan. Once he has assessed the scan he thinks that I will prob be best to have an operation then all them pins and needles that keep me awake at night should be gone! And the pain should be gone too!!! He said the numbness will stay but I dont mind that!! Im just glad that Im now in the system and things will be done!

Have had a lovely week off, its been half-term. Back to work on Monday, only five weeks though and then its another two weeks off for Easter! Yay!!!! Where is the time going?

Sposed to snow again tonight! Not sure if we will get any! I hope it snows on Sunday night then we can have an extra day off school!

Ive bought a new game for my DS! I know Im just a big kid! Ive got Zelda Spirit Tracks. Its hard though!!

Going to see my Mum and Dad tomorrow, its my mum's birthday on Monday. I made her a very special card, its not a special birthday but I just felt like it! I painted a little picture then mounted it on to diff coloured card, it looked quite good! OOOOH Im all arty again!

Catch you all very soon.
Love Laine xxxx

Sunday, 7 February 2010

Good news.

I had a really really good email appear in my inbox today. Yes I did! Do any of you remember Debbie, Essex Girl from AOL journals? Well I sent her an email the other day and she replied! Was so pleased to hear from her! And ever better, she is thinking of coming back to journals, so when she does I'll let you all know her link and we can welcome her back.

Thursday, 4 February 2010

Laine on a Thursday.

Thank you all for your lovely comments. Yes Stuart if this cough does carry on I'll go to docs. The thing is its so hard to get an appointment it could be gone by the time I do! Alot of people have said to me that this cold has left them with a cough for weeks!

OOOOOOOOH look at me blogging again! I feel all happy and settled. It feels like that little piece that was missing is now found and it feels good!

Thursdays is a good day! :) A happy day for me! See! I likes Thursdays! Thursdays I finish work at 1.15. Thursdays I go visit my friend Tania and her little 7 week old baby Isabella! (Obviously 8 weeks ago it was just Tania!). ~Awwww Isabella is such a cutie! Bless her. Thursdays I go to a course in the evenings with my bestest friends! It's a course called 'Parents surviving teenagers'. Its really good. There are about 12 of us on the course. I dont really know why Im going as my boys are good really. Last week our homework was to spend an hour with each teen, one to one. Joe was so excited about this. A whole hour uninterrupted! He got me to play PS3 with him, FIFA10! And he got to play it on MY PS3 too! He said to me that if Sam didnt want his hour he could have two! Made me feel guilty that maybe I dont spend enough time with him! Awww! Sam wasnt really so bothered about it, he said well we are going to my parent's evening, we could do that! He said he couldnt think of anything to do! Sam is 16 and Joe is 14 - what a difference two years makes! Sam and I did get our hour together though, after parents evening I took him out for something to eat. I think he liked that. You can never tell!

I think this course will be really good, its made me realise that my boys are angels - of course they get moody, they moan and they are lazy and they are untidy and they hate washing up and they hate getting up! They are teenagers! But they dont ever, ever, hit me, shout at me, abuse me, disrespect me or anything like the other parents have to put up with! My boys still like a good cuddle and some of the other parents said their teenagers wont even talk to them. So I am very, very lucky! I do want to understand my teenage boys though so I think this course will be good to help me understand them and their moods. The reasons why they lie and why they have to lay in and why they cant tidy up etc. etc.

Anyway, I'll let you know how tonight's session goes!

Laine xxx

Wednesday, 3 February 2010

Cough that wont go away!

Well I'm now on day 12 of my cold.

Horrible nasty cough now that wont go away! Its annoying! Its irritating! Its horrible!!!! When will it go?

Apart from my cough, Ive had an alright day today. Work was good, the children were good. Mrs Sayers had to get a bit cross sometimes, yes! I have started to get my confidence and get cross with the kids. I found that hard at first. Its easier when you know them though.

My little group of children were like little angels today. My little 'E' the boy with autism was my little star today, he was. He sat still and listened the whole way through group. I do like a sort of nuturing group with six children that, well, need nuturing basically. ~They find it hard to share, play properly, interact, behave etc. etc. I have a puppet, who is Ginger Bear and we call it the Ginger Bear group. I love my lil group.

I was chatting today to the TA who I will be with in September, she is preparing herself for the lil challenges I will bring with me into year two! I'm actually looking forward to working with her as we get on really well. But, thats not til September, long way off yet! One of the teacher's said to me the other day how great it was that they will all get me eventually as I move through the school with my boys. I hope I can stay with them to year 6 but Im thinking that I may only stay in this job for a couple of years. I want to either train to be a teacher or become a TA. I'll see how it goes.

Im sorry I havent gotten round to read all your journals yet. Ive visited a few and I will get round to you all in time. So good to see I still have readers after all this time. I want to enjoy blogging again, I am at the moment!

Had some good news today, My aunty Pat, my Mum's sister, had an aortar valve replacement today, I dont know how to spell it sorry! But its the main valve in the heart. The tried to do it before Christmas but she had a massive bleed so whe was very nervous this time. It went well though! So Im so pleased. All she has to do now is recover. She will be 80 next month! This valve will really make a difference to her life and things she will be able to do again. Im off to visit her on Saturday.

I bought an Easter Egg yesterday for a pound! A pound! Couldnt resist it!

Bye for now.
Love Laine xxxx

Monday, 1 February 2010

Im here again!

Wow!!!! It took me missions to get back into blogger! Missions!! I had to create a google account, thats how long ago it was that I last came in here! In fact the last time I wrote in here I had just been for interview and been told I had got my job.

Well, Ive now been at my job for like 3 months now! I do like it! Its had its ups and downs and its hard settling in to a new job. Getting to know people, getting to know the kids! The first obstacle is learning all their names - that seemed to come over a couple of weeks. Im now trying to learn every child in the school - as Im with the whole school at lunch times. Im getting there! I hate not knowing their names!

Why have I come back? Hmmmm? Well I've missed writing. I've missed reading! I've missed all of you! I do see a lot of you on Facebook. Im kinda bit tired of Facebook now though. Its annoying! Annooooooyyyyying! I feel happy writing again! I do hope someone reads this! This feels so much more personal than Facebook. Im not sure whether to advertise my blog on facebook tonight or not.

Now, Ive had a cold for the last ten days! It does not want to go! I had to take last Friday off work. Its been a very nasty cold. Ive still got a sore throat and loads of cattarh - where does it all come from?? ewwwwwwwwww!!!

Now to update you on my working days! I'm an Individual Needs Assistant and I work in a class with Reception/Year 1 children. They are age 4-6. Lovely kids! I look after a child with autism (E), a child with behaviour problems (c) and a boy with speech and language difficulties (cc). I best not put their real names! I love them all! They are a challenge but they are just such sweet little boys. (E), the boy with autism makes me smile everyday. I hate making him do writing and sums though when he's not feeling up to it, some days he is up to it and its brilliant but other days there are distractions and he just doesnt want to do it. I dont like to force him. I like it now that he trusts me, it took a while for us to get to know each other. He likes electricity and light-bulbs, they are his most favourite things in the whole world! He always likes to turn the lights on and off, he likes also to open the doors with my magic key. Im sure I will have some stories to tell you about E!

C has behaviour difficulties and can be a right little pickle! I do find it hard to tell him off because he is such a sweet little character and his sense of humour is brilliant! Im getting stronger with him now that my confidence is growing. We sometimes go and do jobs just the two of us and he loves that, we have a special dinosaur game we play if he gets his jobs done on time. (jobs are a way of getting littlies to do their school work!)

CC is just a little gem, he is a sweetie, I love my sessions with him. The other two boys I work with are year 1 but CC is Reception so he is the youngest I look after. I take him out for speech and language sessions and once a week I have a lady come in and help me. I met CC's mum the other day and had a good chat with her. It really helps to know the child's mum and it also helps the child's mum to know me too I think.

I found it hard settling in as the TA in my class is a bit wary of me, to be understood I think as I am a friend of the teacher! But she is coming round a bit now, Im giving her time and space and Im respecting her position in the classroom, I didnt want to think I was there to take over her job or anything like that.

Well I think Ive written enough for now, Ill write some more. Im not going to say tomorrow, coz I dont want to disappoint you if I dont do it tomorrow, but I will write again.

Love Laine xxxx