Monday

Awwwwww thank you so much for all your comments.

Thank you Jane for the website address. I'll check that out.

Yes, you are right those of you who say don't write to my work colleagues. I think I was thinking crazy thoughts there. I don't want them to know all the ins and outs and I won't be long there anyway.

Delores!!! Its so good to see you again! I have missed you! Thank you for your comments and I think you are very right in everything you say.

I had a bit of a slow start to the day. I didnt want to get up, I'd had a real bad night of pain. The sciatica is hitting with a vengence at the moment, so I think I'm getting used to those meds that are supposed to be calming it down. Yep, I'm on two lots of meds now! One for my sciatica, that is also used to treat anxiety, and one for me state of mind! Soon I'll be rattling! I'm not giving up on them, I'm staying with them.

Anyway, I did get up about 9.30 as I was due to go into town with my neighbour, Sally. I really didnt want to go. But John said that I should. I really, really didnt want to go! But I made myself get up, get dressed. I had a wash and I went. It was ok, I actually enjoyed myself. It was good to get out with Sally and have a chat. Of course we went to Costa! yum! So I had a Costa brekkie today!

When I got home John wasnt in so I went straight upstairs to tackle the spare room, which looks like a huge laundry room. Well I did some ironing and I tidied up and the room looks so much better for it. I felt better for it too.

My friend from work popped by and took me to the Doctors to get my sick note and then she took it away so it could be taken into work. Jane is lovely and so supportive. Do you know she is the only one from work that comes to see me and apart from Pat, who has phoned, is the only one in touch. The teacher that I work for hasnt even phoned me, not once!

I don't want to ever go back to work. But I know I will have to one day. But Ive got to stop thinking about that as it does my head in and makes me worry. Ive got to stop worrying!

We have our Assessor coming tomorrow to start our Form F for the fostering. I'm going to tell her everything that has gone on lately and how I'm feeling. We have to be honest! My Doctor said that I am more than fit and ready to do this. She said that she can see that Im intelligent and sensible and that Im doing all the right things to help me get better.

I felt uplifted after the Assessor had rung, her name is Nikki and she is our Assessing Social Worker. She sounded so nice. This is something I want to do more than anything in the world because the best job in the world is being a mum! What more could I want. I wont be stuck in a school having to make the kids stick to the rules. Of couse I will have rules in my house but we can have fun. Fun when we want to. I can read bedtime stories again! Bathtimes again! Zoo trips again! Lego building! Oh I cant wait, and nor can John.

Smiley face!