Monday

I've been off work nearly a month now. I got a letter today from East Sussex County Council, who are my employer, they said that I will get full pay up until 12th January and then after that it will go to half pay. So that's good news! I won't be going back full time, I will prob ask if I can just do mornings or just three days. Anyway, that's next year!

My mood has been lifted somewhat. I'm still not right yet though. Just little things tell me that. My anxiety is no where near as bad as it was, it doesnt hurt so much now, it's still horrible when I get it but not as fierce.

The pain in my foot though, that is driving me mad. It's not so constant as it was the last few days. I mean from Wednesday to Sunday it was constant, there was no reprieve, then yesterday afternoon the pain just stopped! Just like that! But it came back again in the night. I hardly had any sleep. Then it was gone by the morning and it has been gone most of the day, so I can only guess then that its getting better.

I took the boys to school this morning and then when I got home I went back to bed and slept there til 1pm! I was just so so tired. But, here I am sat in bed and the pain is back again with a vengance.

I phoned the hospital to see when Im going to have the spinal probe and Ive got to wait til Feb 22nd, typical that its the boys appointment in London that day too. So I'll have to change their appointment which is a nuisance but I can't stand this pain. Not sure I can wait that long anyway. Because its a nerve pain its hard to rest it, or massage it, or even put warmth on it. It won't respond to anything, not even painkillers.

John is away tonight. He had to go to Manchester.

Cant write anymore because of the pain, will write again tomorrow. xx