Friday, 14 November 2008

Tired.

You may have to excuse this entry as I really don't know what is going to come out. I'm up in the middle of the night, again, and I'm feeling very low and very very tired.

The reason I feel low is because of my sciatica. I know that I have a lot to be thankful for and i should not feel low but sometimes I can't cope anymore. Sometimes I get fed up because I can't sleep, I get fed up with the constant pins and needles in my foot, the constant pain in my legs, the not being able to walk properly and the restless legs. Sometimes I just want to be able to be comfortable like everyone else. To be able to get into bed and just sleep! I'm fed up getting up and feeling tired EVERY DAY! Then being grouchy with everyone because I'm so tired.

I had a brilliant day. I had my course, for supporting adults in their learning, in the morning. (Im talking about Thursday coz now its Friday). I enjoyed the course because I felt I was learning something and I so enjoy learning. Then in the afternoon I had my work placement for that course. I am to work in the GCSE English class, which I was part of last year. I am to support adults in their learning. I really enjoyed it! This is what I love. Teaching people, supporting people and talking to people. So thats good, I had a good day, but now Im miserable.

I've got work tomorrow, in the office, and I'm sitting here now worrying that I'm going to be just so so tired. I'm sitting here whilst my foot is doing all sorts of things. It's so hard to explain. It's like something is running round it, like a hot silver ball. That scratches all the inside of my foot constantly. And my legs are so restless! And the pain in my thighs is so dull and horrible. I suppose I should go back to the hospital. Last time I went they gave me an awful injection. It was like an epidural and it was the most painful experience I have ever had. I certainly dont want that again. When I was last there the surgeon told me that if he operated on my back, there was only a 60% chance that the pins and needles and the pain would stop. Do I take that risk! A bit invasive for just 60% chance!

I shall now go and play Freecell on Pogo to try and make me tired. I dont even know how to play the stupid game. I will take some tablets and hope that I get sufficiently tired enough to drop off to a deep sleep. Oh deep sleep how I would love to have a whole night of deep sleep.

Laine xx

11 comments:

Missie said...

You should ask to try Ambian to help you sleep. It really works. Maybe if you got a good night's sleep, your body wouldn't hurt so much???

Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

Melissa said...

im so sorry about ur pain and not being able to sleep. *hugs* I hope u can get some rest tonight

Jeannette said...

I've had sciatica for nearly twenty years so I know the pain well. I found sitting made it worse, the only relief I got was laying curled in a foetal position, it stretches the spine and untraps the sciatic nerve. Was it a myelogram you had when you had that epidural thingy? I had that too at Hurstwood Park, it gave me the most awful headache imaginable for two weeks after. I thought my head would explode! If I hear the name Hurstwood Park it still makes me freeze after all this time! The procedure was so painful, after fifteen years I can still remember it so clearly, it was a nightmare and I wouldn't recommend it to anyone! I hope you feel better now Laine, seding prayers your way that you'll get through the day. Jeannette xx

Sara said...

Bless your heart lovely one. Have to say, for someone living with all of these symptoms, you do manage to get an awful lot done every day. You should be proud of you honey, for not letting this beat you. I do hope that things improve.
xxx

Delores Getmeslippers said...

Great sympathy for you Lainey, I don't know what to suggest.........

Stuart said...

long tired days and nights are not fun as I know.......

mortonlake said...

so sorry for you.i have MS and get the "same" problems. you tried a T.E.N.S machine? ask your dr if it may help.doesnt for everyone. i had a disc removed 15 years ago,im araid it did no good for me,because i had left it so long and the nerve was damaged. take care mort x

Joan said...

Hi, reading you entry this morning I feel so sorry for you there is nothing worse than sleeplessness because of pain. When you have to get up in the morning I think it makes matters worse as you then start to worry how you will feel in the morning. I am so sorry I do not have any tips to help you. Hope you get through Friday ok and have a lovely weekend. Love joan.

Jeannette said...

So sorry about this. It sounds like you have trapped nerves. I get it occasionally but not all the time. You need to get something done, surgery may not be a good idea but see what other options you have.

As for freecell, I have never got a game to come out so I have no badges for that game. It is just not me, I dislike it.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I hope you did manage some sleep. A good rest does a body a world of good for sure. I do hope today is better for you . 'On Ya'-ma

lunarossa said...

Hi Laine, sorry about your pain. Hope you feel better now. Strangely enough I spent most of last night awake with back pain as well. Maybe we should have played some games online together or chatted on the phone...Have a nice weekend. Ciao. Antonella.