Hello to you my dear friends.
Thank you again for the lovely comments.
I told John that I was buying a pretty pink bible. He said that it was good and that he wished he had read it more as he was growing up. Now, I thought he would be funny, so proves how wrong I was then didnt it! I'm excited about it.
I seem to have some funny friends. I've told you all about Shelley with her Mercedes. Well there is Tania who I'm quite close to. She gets paranoid that nobody likes her and that she doesnt have any friends. I tell her off when she says that and say that she wont have any if that's the attitude she carries round with her. Yesterday she phoned me to ask me out for her birthday. I told her I could not afford it as I have no work at the moment. I also do not like going out on a Saturday night without John. Call me old-fashioned, but Saturday nights are for me and John. She got all funny with me and said, well it's a bit different, its my birthday. She said, surely I could scrape some money together for her birthday. Well that just made me not want to go even more. Then when I looked on my calendar I see that Shelley and David are coming over that night anyway. She didnt like that either. Then I feel guilty. Why do I always feel guilty and why do I let these people get to me. It's not that I need them, I've got loads of friends! I think they need me more than I need them.
Now, this morning, my little Joe (Who will be 13 end of this month!) has been stealing money out of mine and John's sweet jar. John and I save coins in it and then we cash them in at Sainsburys cash machine thingy. John noticed this morning that it was looking low. I went into the boys room and asked if either of them knew anything about it. Joe looked sheepish. Sam just looked like Sam! I said, well if no-one owns up then that room is out of use and so is the computer. Then Joe pipes up, I took it for children in need. I told him that it was nice he wanted to give to Children in need but he must ask not just take as that is stealing. Then when I went downstairs to get his lunch box out of his bag guess what I found. Lot's of two pence pieces zipped up in the pocket of his bag. So he is in big trouble at the moment. For lying to me and for stealing. I dont know how to deal with it yet. I'm hurt because I've done a lot for him lately. He has had a lot too. John is going to talk to him tonight. I think I will let him do that. Im so tempted to rant and shout at him but that wont do any good. No matter how much you give him its never enough. I know he has been through a lot my little Joe, his Dad left him for two years, I moved him away from his school and his home to live with John, he has to put up with me loving three more children and a dog! He does get very jealous. But Sam doesnt do things like Joe does. Dont know how Im going to punish him. If anyone finds that manual on kids please let me know!!!
Laine xxxx
12 comments:
Thats a sad game your friend is playing on you. As far as the guilt you feel, I would venture to say thats exactly her expectation when she has when she says those types of things. I've had friends like that myself, I imagine we all have. I think the key is not letting them heap obligations and expectations on you. You didn't fall for it, so I'd say your holding your own~~~
As for your son, I wish you well with that one. Since we don't get manuals when they are born, and they are all so individual, I guess we're just blinding parenting and doing our best.
Wishing you well,
Rebecca
maybe you and your hubby could read the Bible together and talk about what you read. That would be a great thing. I do hope you work it out with the missing money. When kids get in trouble they are sometimes looking for someone to pay some attention to them...there is always a reason.
'On Ya'-ma
You have received an award from me, please see my journal.
Shalom: I just found your journal through Jeanette (Mazol Tov on being chosen) My husband and I read the Scriptures every morning during breakfast and at night before bed. Try reading your Bible at bedtime; you'll sleep bettter. Children are wonderful, G-d given gifts. And many times I wanted to send my son back :) It is a tough age, but avoid fights with your son at all cost, but if you can't, you have to stand your ground and win. For his sake and well as your own.
Praying for you,
Laini
I think you should let Joe know that he has made you sad because he has taken money that isn't his and per haps reassure him that he can ask for money for his needs and that you will always give it to him if it is important and provided that you have it to spare. I know it is not nice to be suspicious but maybe it would be a good idea not to have money accessible so that he isn't tempted. Don't shout though!
Give Tania's phone number to Shelley and perhaps she will take her out for a birthday spin in the Merc!
Two things.
1. I understand the paranoia of your friend I live with that it is horrible. She will feel awful - I know she made you feel bad.
2. Leave Joe alone. It is phase. I stole loads of money like that when I was a teenager. I grew out of it. Don't make a big issue of it. I stole a lot more than that!
Hi there. I wish, wish, wish I had a manual to share with you on how to deal with these teens lol. Even before my daughter was a teen we had problems with her taking things she didn't ask for. It never ends I tell ya lol. I've recently caught mine smoking.. ya fun times. Take care and good luck with your son and your rude friend.
Kris
hello dont worry to much about joe its hopefully a phase being a teenager is hard. its not nive to be made to feel uncomfortable by a friend ive been there aswell but you did the right thing wich is what you belived i now were your coming from because me and andy have certaine evenings we like to spend together its important. it was lovely catching up with you the other day you looked very smart in your suit take care and say hi to the boys for me love laura ps please excuse my spelling cant seem to spell tonight
Hi Laine, I wish all children came with a manual, life would be so much easier. You will work through this problem I`m certain.
I think your friend knew she`d make you feel bad. You mustn`t let her get to you, it`s up to you if you go out or not so please don`t feel guilty.
Love Sandra xxxx
sorry ur friend is being a pain and ur son is stealing. Hopefully ur friend will chill out and hope ur son has learned his lesson
I can see what you mean about that friend of yours m'dear. I get quite paranoid at times too, and as Stuart says, it's no fun. But I would never say to anyone what your friend said to you, or make anyone feel bad, I hope!
And yes, I stole a little when I was your Son's age too. I always thought of myself as the black sheep of the family... whatever you do, don't make him feel like that hon, though somehow I doubt that you ever would :o)
xxx
Hi Laine, Dont' let your friend get at you. She might feel unhappy hearself but it's horrible to make you feel like that too. A friend should understand you and make you feel better not worse! It is YOUR life, you can do what you choose!
With regard to Joe, well, if I knew the answers to parenting problems I wouldn't be here but would have won the Nobel prize for peace! As you said, he went through so much, just talk to him straigh and explain that you are disappointed and whenever he needs some money he has to ask you first and not just help himself. It happens, nobody is perfect. They are only children! Take care of yourself. Ciao. Antonella
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