Saturday, 7 January 2012

Fostering and Mr P

Well, Sara Sara! See you've inspired me to write again!

For those who don't know, I'm a foster carer now. I didn't know whether to start a new blog or keep this one. Might as well keep this one as its already set up. It's still my world after all.

I'm in iPhone blogger App. So I'm feeling my way round. Not sure how I make this private. Think I need to do that as I want to share my experiences with fostering to only the few that I trust, not the whole world.

So, we've been fostering out Mr P for 7 months now, 7 months on the 9th actually! He's a lovely, lovely boy. He's hard work though. We are more than just fostering him, we are his carers too. He has severe learning difficulties, he'll never be able to look after himself, he has global development delay, ADHD and mild autism. He does have problems with his sexualised behaviour, he is all mixed up and often makes a mess at night in the bathroom or his room with soiling, all connected with his sexual behaviour. We've had highs and lows. Just before Christmas I was considering giving my notice as its do hard to cope with the sleepless nights and the mess he creates. It kind of escalated just before Christmas and over Christmas. I'm thinking that he couldn't cope with Christmas as he'd never had a Christmas at home and didn't really understand what was going on. Bless him.

Over the new year, for four nights, we got much needed respite and Mr P went to a couple who'd been fostering for 11 years. They said that although he is a lovely boy they wouldn't have him again because they couldn't cope! John and I were so pleased to have him back. We had reenergised and felt refreshed, we missed him so much. It's very very hard. We have to decide if we can care for him until he's 18. Mr P went for surgery today, he had to have 6 teeth extracted under a general. Poor little mite. He was so brave. I felt like I was his real mummy! I cried when he went into theatre. If he hadn't been neglected so badly then he wouldn't have had to suffer like that. His mum and dad love him dearly, they just don't know whats right.

My boys are amazing. They love Patrick and they are very supportive. Couldn't do it without them.

I call him Mr P to save his identity. It's very difficult writing about LAC as they are very vulnerable. I have to be careful.

I hope I have some readers left!

Lainey xxxxx


I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Surprised to see your post after such a long absence. It does sound like you have your hands full there but I know that being a carer can be tremendously rewarding too. Happy New Year to will be quite a new way of living for you.

Sweetnessk71 said...

It takes a special person to take care of special needs children. Hope things get better..god bless

LYN said...

God Bless you..I couldn't do it...thank god for people like the way I saw a lot of fabric Owls while I was home..made me think of you!! x

Sara said...

Yay... Lainey's back :o)

Looking forward to reading here again, lovely. If you do go private, please add me!!

As for Mr P... well, you know how much I respect you and your family for doing what you are doing. I hope that the rewards outweigh the challenges.


Stuart said...

Good to have you back

Heather said...

I think the autism probably impacts the "soiling" too. There have been so many times that I have found that Austin has a hoard of bottles of urine saved up in his room. It has something to do with control, being unable to shift focus from what he's doing to what he needs to do and... I don't know. I never quite understood all of it but I do know that a lot of our early autism experiences involved poo. Miles and miles of poo.

louise said...

Wow What a challenge you have taken on, you are a very special family! It sounds like incredibly hard work. Good to have to back xx

Ally Lifewithally said...

It is so good to see you back posting again ~ Ally x

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Nice to see you back, sounds like an emotional experience with Mr. P, ups and downs.