My God-daughter.

Awwww my god-daughter, beautiful Courtney wrote me a poem.

I have a smashing god-mother her name is lainey laine,
I dunno what I would do without her nothing will heal the pain,
She has always been here for me, hopefully until eternity,
I love her cuddles she is so down to earth, I cuddle her back like I've known her all my life,
I go around her she comes around mine, everytime I see her she always shines,
this is a little poem to say how much I care,
when I am feeling down and blue I know your always there,

Love you SO much :)

Now she is nearly 13 and I thought that was brilliant for a girl of her age to write. It actually made me cry. Here is a picture of Courtney and I taken the other day when we were mucking about with my web cam on my laptop. We always have such fun together.

New blogger - yay

We have a new blogger in our midst! She is 16, she is the daughter of a very close friend of mine, she is a very close friend to my Sammy Sam and I loves her lots and lots!!! Her name is Lucy and you can find her on Speaking with Ambiguity. Please visit her as she is new to blogger!

I promise I will write again tomorrow! At the moment Im trying to talk to a friend on facebook who is having real big problems with my god-daughter. (her daughter!) So Im trying to work out with her what we can do. The thing is she is always so good when she is with me so I dont see the side that her mum sees.

I promise to write again tomorrow and I will visit you all too.

Love Laine xxx

Friday - St George's Day

Thank you all for your comments. I really have not stopped looking at Goldendoodle pictures on the internet! sigh! One day perhaps! They are just too cute!

Today is St. George's Day and we are celebrating being English! England flags are out everywhere, we even saw them on our walk in the woods today. Oscar got a lovely surprise!
We found a tree with England flags all over it and doggy biscuits, I took pictures to share it with you all!
The lady that did this also puts decorations on this tree at Christmas too with Christmas pressies for all the local doggies. I think its such a lovely idea! Oscar was so excited to get a biscuit on his dog walk today!

Laine xx

My title page photo.

I just want you to know that the photo that is on my header was taken by my lovely Dad in his garden last summer. Isnt he a clever ole stick! So please dont snag it! If you do want to copy it then ask me first in the comments. I have this photo as a screensaver on my computer and decided it was time to share it as its so so beautiful.

Laine xxx

I won and I want a Goldendoodle.

First of all I must tell you that I won a prize the other day on NotSupermum's blog! I won Alvin and the Chipmunks The Squeakquel! I don't ever win anything! Go visit NotSupermum her blog is brill!

Thanks for you comments. Marie, Im great thank you and really great to see you visiting my blog again. I dont have a photo blog but you have made me think! Perhaps I should. So I might make that my next project. I will look at my photos and see if I think any are good enough to enter your comp!

Stuart, I think it takes John about 3 and a half hours to get to Coventry thats if he travels at 4am in the morning. It takes much much longer when there is traffic. But, thank goodness, he does not have to go back there again tomorrow. So he will be home later with news of how things went today and whether they want to keep him on or not.
I still havent got my car back yet. I had to go pick up a cable that goes inside the door and the guy is fixing it in tonight. I go to my 'Parents surviving teenagers' course tonight. Its more like a social event really! We all talk about our kids and get given tips on how to cope with teenagers. My boys are like angels. I cant believe what some people have to put up with.

I saw in our local paper today, puppies for sale, Goldendoodles! Awwwwwwww now I really, really want one! I know I cant have one! But, maybe one day. So I here I post a pic of a lovely Goldendoodle! Just to make you smile! (And maybe make you want one! hee hee, the lady has two boys left and they are £695 each, yes! I did phone the lady up just to see!) Whoops!

Cute eh?

Laine xxxxx

Wednesday

Stuart, lol Im taking the chill pills! Need them!

Car still with man! It was with him all day and he didnt get a chance to look at it til 5.30. But, he is really doing me a big favour so I didnt complain. He is going to get the part for the door tomorrow and then fix it. Good ole Mia taking me to work again tomorrow and picking me up. I finish at 1.15 tomorrow! I love Tuesdays and Thursdays coz they is my half day days!

On Friday we are in church in the morning for St. George's day and we all have to wear red and white and in the afternoon I am taking 8 children to a football tournament at Battle school. Im hoping it will be a sunny afternoon. Well I say Im taking them, Im not really. Their parents are picking them up and we all go in our own cars. Im just going to watch really! So there is an adult from our school. I hope the children behave I will feel funny telling them off infront of their parents.

John went to see his friend's company today about possibly working for them. He said they seem very interested! So we will just have to wait and see.

John not so stressy today. He does have to drive all the way to Coventry tomorrow as the company taking over his company are interviewing them all as they may take a couple of them on. Its only a 15 minute interview! Then he has to drive down to North London for an afternoon appointment for work. Then he has to go back up to Coventry on Friday to see the outcome of the interviews! I dont know why they cant just phone him on Friday! Its a hell of a lot of driving!

John says if he gets a job we will be going away for the next bank holiday! yay!!

Laine xxx

Tuesday

What a day!!

John is stressed! Too much to do and too much on his mind!

My friend nearly lost her dog in the woods but a kind builder found him!

My driver's door on my car had broken and once Im in the car I cant get out again unless I climb to the passenger side!

Good news: My friend, who nearly lost her dog, found me a man to fix my car, hopefully, and my friend will take me to work tomorrow! Phew!

My boots arrived from Ebay, too small! :(

Another warm day here again, sorry Stuart!

Laine x

Monday.

OOOOOH naughty Stuart and Sara Sara!! Those photos are censored!!!! Ahem!!

Was back to work today. I didnt want to go back to work. Well nobody ever wants to go back to work after such a long holiday! It was lovely at work today though. I was outside most of the day with the children. I love this weather!! How lovely to be able to do lessons outside! yay!!! At lunchtime we played out on the grass and I got lots of daisy chains given to me! I likes my new jewellery, not sure it will last long though, bit wilted now! :(

John has had a little glimmer of hope. An old friend of his phoned him up about a job. So keep you fingers and toes and paws (if your a fur friend) crossed please!

When I got home from work John and I went for a walk down to the park. It was lovely to sit in the sun and watch the birds and the ducks. We saw three ducks chasing a rat too! That was quite funny! I never knew that ducks chased rats! The rat won though!

Yesterday John and I met up with his lovely daughter Emma for a picnic and a walk at Bedgebury Pinetum. . It was such a beautiful day and was so lovely to spend time with Emmy Em! She brought along with her some lovely Rocky Road biscuits she had made, click on me for the link of how to make them. Sam and I are going to go to Tesco later and get the ingredients so we can make them! I will have to be careful not to eat too many though. I dont want to put all my weight back on. Did I tell you I lost just over a stone in about three months! Im a whole dress size smaller!! Whoooooo!!!!

Anyways I off now to put the pizza in oven or we wont get any tea!

Laine xxx

Friday

Oscar seems so much better today. No limp at all. So I havent taken him to the vets just yet but Im keeping a close eye on him. Going to the vets for Oscar is a big trauma! Just like us humans really, only we dont go to the vet do we!

Well we had a very important visitor to our little town of Hastings, Gordon Brown was here. But, I missed it as I was in Brighton visiting my mum and dad. He visited our local Tesco. Not that its that exciting news but thought I'd just tell you.

I had all my girlie friends round last night. 15 of them to be exact. I had an Ann Summers party. Sexy lingerie party! hee hee!! ;0) It was really good fun and exactly the tonic I needed. I did get a bit tipsy though.I wont tell you what I bought! But I really, really enjoyed myself! Also it meant my house got a good tidy up and even some dusty cobwebs got cleared away from corners! So I have a very clean and tidy spruced up lounge!

Sam went to a party last night. He came home quite tipsy. I was in bed when he came home but Joe told me he was. He is now in bed feeling poorly. I do worry about him when he goes to parties. Only because I remember what it was like when I was 16! Infact, he is going on 17 and its far too scary!!!

Thanks for your comments. Laine xxxx

Thank you

Thank you all so much for your kind support, it really means so much to me.

John and I are feeling very positive. We are not going to get down and moody about this situation. Well, not just yet anyway. I think sometimes we may feel frustrated and its not going to be easy. But, we have talked about all the things that we could possibly do and infact it can be looked at as a new beginning. John feels very relieved in a way. He is trying to think of what else is out there for him to do. i will keep you posted on our siutation.

I have had a hospital date given to me for my nerve root block injections (or whatever its called). I will let you know def what its all about when I get my letter from the hospital. I really hope that these injections will do something. Agaiin, I am up at 2am and cant sleep because of the pain and pins and needles in my leg and foot. All caused because a little bit of my disc is touching the nerve in my spine. So anyway the date is May 4th. I have to be at the hospital by 8am. I will be in for the morning. The procedure only takes about 30 mins. I should be able to go back to work after a couple of days. All I want is for this to go away!

Went for so many walks today, well yesterday now I suppose! Seeing as Im now into Thursday already! My Oscar is 8 now and he does really well. But, I was a bit worried about him after so many walks. He seems to have trouble with his back leg after he has been laying down. It sort of nearly collapses on him but after about a minute its fine. I think if it carries on today then I will have to take him to the vets. Im worried that I overdid the walking. I had a brisk 40 min walk in the woods followed by a two hour leisurely walk on the beach. Im hoping I havent overdone it for the poor old fellow!

Laine xxxxxx

Uncertainty

Well John had his meeting yesterday and was told that his job will come to an end at the end of May. So then he will be out of work. There is a very slight possibility that the company buying out his company may keep him on but that is just like clutching at straws. Its very unlikely but still a very tiny bit of hope.

John seemed quite philosophical about it last night. Im not sure how he is this morning. He went out at nine this morning to drop Sam into his college revision day and then he has gone for a walk. Probably to try clear his head.

I told Sam and Joe last night that they will have to give up guitar lessons for a while, amongst other things that will have to stop. The boys were really fine about it. They both did exams this weekend just gone, Sam did grade 3 and Joe did grade 4 so they have managed to get to really good grades and one day they may be able to progress further. I think that the majority of our youth of today really havent got a clue about what its like to go without. My boys have never ever gone without but I think very soon alot of younsters will begin to find out!

I think that big changes will have to be made. John said that his boss is beside himself as he has a high maintenance wife! Good job Im not one of them. I said to John well his wife will have to come down to reality then! Thats the trouble alot of people live in a world where they think they can have everything and used credit like theres no tomorrow. Im so glad we havent been like that or this would be much harder! John reckons we will be able to survive, paying mortgage etc. for the next six months. That gives him plenty of time to find something else and maybe expand his little business he has making stainless steel handles.

Im glad I got that off my chest, even if it doesnt make sense I feel better for saying it.

Laine xxx

Monday

Beginning of another week.

Bit of a funny week this week. Im off work still but feel like I should be back by now. It seems a long holiday! This time next week though I will be thinking it wasnt such a long holiday! Mind you we will only be back six weeks and then we get another week off and we have two more bank holidays to come!

John's meeting tomorrow! He finds out what is in store. Job or not job. We will know tomorrow night!

I have booked an Ann Summers party for Thursday night. Invited all my girlie friends to come round and have a really good laugh. Ann Summer parties are always such a laugh. I felt I needed a good girly evening! Might even buy some nice undies!! Hee hee!!! But, the girl who hosts it has messaged me on facebook to say she cant do it! So she is going to find someone else to do it. Ive also sent a message to another friend that I know does them! Otherwise we will just have a girlie evening without the Ann Summers!

Today John didnt feel like working today with this meeting looming tomorrow. Infact none of his colleagues felt like working either. So we went over to Rye. A lovely little town not far from us. We walked round the streets and stopped for lunch. Lunch was a bit disappointing but it was nice to be out and about. And probably the last time we will go out for lunch. Things like that will have to stop!

Tomorrow Im going to cook a stew in the morning, beef stew! Or casserole I suppose as Im putting it in the slo-cooker! I will then be meeting up with my friend Carol and we will walk our doggies! Then in the evening I will go visit my friend Maria. I dont know if I told you or not but do you remember when my friend had a dog called Poppy. Well poor Poppy died a few months ago but Maria has got herself another doggy called Rocky. He is lovely but a bit lively! He is only a pup. We think he is only 18 months old. She got him from a place called Second Chance - its a rehoming centre for doggies.

Wednesday Im going to meet my friend Sue for the morning and then after that Im walking my doggy with my friend Lucy and her doggies. Lucy is the teacher of the class I work in and it will be so nice to see her outside of school.

Thursday Im spending the day with my god-daughter and her mummy and her gorgeous baby sister. We are going to have a go on the Wii fit!! Then thursday night is my girlie night!

Friday Im going to go visit my Mum and Dad. Looking forward to that!

Saturday is free, phew!

Sunday we are meeting John's daughter for a picnic. We are going to Bedgebury Pinetum which is a lovely man-made wooded area.

Then its back to school!!

Laine xx

Saturday

It's a beautiful sunny day, I've been laying out in the sun on my sun lounger and soaking up the rays. It did get a bit chilly though, it's not like its really summer sun yet. It's ok to lay out there in jeans and fleecy top but too cold to put shorts on I think! I went out with all intentions of reading my book but I fell asleep. I needed the sleep though after not sleeping much in the last week.

I feel much better about my hospital visit today. I feel much more positive and hopeful that the injections will work. John doesnt feel so down about his job either. As Stuart says its not worth worrying about stuff til it happens really. He is right. Such a wise man our Stuart!

John is outside with his son Chris, they are fixing the front gate on the side of the house. Im at a bit of a loss as to what to do. There are lots of things I could be doing in the house but I really cant get motivated. Im quite sleepy actually. I did start taking my meds again last night and I slept like a rock. For the first time in ages. So why am I still sleepy now!

Im thinking of getting some conifers to put along a fence in our garden. The neighbours who back onto the fence keep kicking footballs at the fence and yesterday hit the fence so hard that it broke the fence. I dont see any point in paying out for new fencing there if they are going to abuse it so I was looking at conifers today, we could put them alongside the fence. They would hide the holes and they would also give us some privacy. They are £20.00 each! I know they can grow quite high but I would try keep them cut down. Something to think about when we can afford it.

Laine xxx

Hello

Thank you all for caring so much. It really means alot! They say you always turn to an old friend when you have trouble and I did just that I turned to all of you. My lovely Jland people. Thank you.

This is how it went today.

First of all I was a bit fed up as I didnt see my usual consultant, he was there but I had to see his assistant. From that point I felt that I wasnt going to get the news I had hoped for. Actually, to be honest, I dont really know what I had hoped for. I can tell you that I was so nervous. I felt sick, I was shaking. I was in a right state! How stupid!!

Anyway, they showed me the MRI pictures and they explained that they didnt think at this point an operation would work, infact they said an operation could make me worse. They said that the disc that protruded before had sort of gone back in but was badly worn. There is another disc that protrudes a bit and is near the sciatic nerve. They said the sciatic nerve is reacting to it and that's what is causing me pain and discomfort in my leg and foot. They have offered me injections that will go deep into my spine and give me strong pain killers and anti-inflammatories. This will calm down the nerve and the pain should go. John asked about the longevity of the injections, her answer was that by the time the pain killers wear off then the nerve will have got used to the narrowing and it should then have calmed down by then. They are not sure about the pins and needles in my toes though. She sort of inferred that its probably too late for anything to be done about that. Like the damage is done! I was a bit cross because before the MRI my consultant had said that they could almost certainly get rid of the pins and needles too. It would just be the numbness that wouldnt disappear.

But at least its not as evasive as an operation and I will only be off work for a couple of days instead of six weeks. I just only hope it works! They will follow up after and help me get the strength back in my foot as it doesnt work properly. I cant keep sandals on or flip flops and I cant put any weight on it. I feel a bit down coz I never got definate answers but then I feel relieved coz I havent got to have an operation. At least they are doing something! I just cant help feeling like Ive been fobbed off. I asked what would happen if the injections dont work and she couldnt really answer. I actually think they dont really know what to do with me.

I asked what would I do if the pins and needles dont go away as they drive me mad at night and I dont want to be on medication forever. She said that it might only be a case of keeping on with the Amitryptiline.

I still feel like I dont really know whats happening. It could be up to 3 months before I get these injections done! They took an x-ray of my back today too so they can see what's happening with my bones. I should get the results of that in 14 days. I should hear within the week when my appointment will be for the injections.

Also today, John had a letter about his job. It was calling all Sales staff in for a meeting next Tuesday. It says that there is a proposal for another company to buy the division that John is in. They are basically being taken over. John knows the company in question and he knows that they wont take on the staff. So in a couple of months time John will almost certainly be out of a job. But we shall see, they may take on a few of them. Lets just hope! Hope is a big word of the day!

Zoe!!! So good to see you and thank you for your kind words.

Thank you.
Laine xxxx

Thursday

Hello my lovely friends.

I do feels better today. I've had a lovely day and the sun has been shining all day.

Your right Stuart!!! I do love your phrase! I remember thinking about those words when I had my MRI scan. And its so true it does pass. This time tomorrow I will be writing to you and telling you all about my consultation and what the results are!!

Til tomorrow my friends. xxxxx

Wednesday

You are all so kind, thank you.

I feel funny today. I had such a lovely weekend. John, Oscar and me. Just us and the numerous people in the New Forest of course! It's all back to normal now. John worrying about work and me worrying about John. Im fed up with being fed up! You go on a high and then when you hit the low its hard to get up again!

John can get his frustration and anger out in one go. It all comes out like a volcanoe - he erupts and then he feels better. I, on the other hand, get affected by this volcanoe and I have the smouldering lava on me for days! It takes me alot longer to shake it off. So then I go into a sulk worrying about him and he then wonders whats up with me. A viscious circle could then occur!

I've had a bit of a bad tummy today. I do get IBS when Im nervous. Im not consciously nervous about the hospital on Friday but I must be deep inside coz its affecting my bowels. Sorry! Prob too much information!

I will know Friday whats going to happen. Thats all I can think about at the moment. I just want to know now!

Sorry Im being very down.

Stuff

Ive got the hospital on Friday - I should at last find out what can be done for me concerning my back! Im bloody nervous! Dont mind admitting that! I keep having nightmares about the operation - I might not even have an operation! Who knows - it will all be found out on Friday and I will let you know!

John and I have spend the Easter weekend in the New Forest. It was really lovely. I enjoyed seeing the ponies and the donkeys. I loved seeing cows walking down the High Street in Beaulieu! Ive got some photos and will put them on soon.

Sorry Ive not been writing much. I sort of keep losing the will to do it! Not good I know!!

Laine xxxxx