Monday, 22 November 2010


Ive been to the Doc and she has signed me off for another two weeks from today.

I do feel better now as that decision has been made. She said she was really pleased with my progress. She said that she can see that I am an intelligent woman, me? LOL, and that she can see that I am taking on board what she has asked me to do. However, she does think I am depressed and that I do have anxiety quite bad at the moment. She said that she could give me anti-depressants but I said I'll think about that as I'd have to be on them for six months and not come off. I'm not too sure I really need them. She said that if I was severely depressed she would urge me to take them but she said that I am depressed but not bad enough that I want to kill myself or anything like that, which is good. She did offer me counselling too which I can have if I feel the need. I'm not sure I want that at the moment, I did counselling once and it just made me feel worse quite frankly.

She said to keep writing things down and doing relaxing stuff.

Ive sent an email to work to explain it all. Thank goodness for email and I dont actually have to talk to work. I dont think I could do that. I felt very tearful coming out of the Doctors. I said to her that I felt like a fake and she said no you are very ill at the moment but you are coming through it and she said she was very proud of the way Im handling it. I told her that John looks like he cant understand me and she said that is very common, because people cant see a physical change in me they cant believe that Im ill. Thats the hardest thing to deal with as people expect you to be ok. John said to me, after I'd been to the Doctor, 'but you were ok yesterday!'. The doctor said to me yes you will get ok days but the problem hasnt gone and she said it will take months to get me back on track.

I asked her about the fostering and she said that in no way should I be worried about this affecting it at all. She said that I have dealt with this sensibly and she cant see a problem.

Phew! big Phew!


Stuart said...

Take it easy.
Watch for signs that depression gets worse.
Tell us if the dark thoughts creep in.

Relax now.

And have a hug!

Jan said...

Well done telling the Doc all ,thats a good step ,what did she say about the burping ? keep hanging on ,and when things get bad tie another knot , Jan xx

lunarossa said...

It's good for you to have a doctor who understands and supports you. Just keep on being positive and try your best to relax and be cheerful. We all have bad moments, the trick is not let them overwhelm us. Bigs hugs. Ciao. A.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I think it's good to have a doctor you can talk to and talking does a lot of good. Hopefully the next 2 weeks of rest will do you al lot of good.

Sara said...

Lainey hon, if you had a cold, would you feel fake if you kept sneezing and blowing your nose? It's the same thing you know. You are ill, and the way that you've been feeling is a symptom of that. So no more doubting yourself, lovely. Ok?

Perhaps John could read up about depression/anxiety online? That could help him to understand what you're going through a little more.

So glad that you have more time :o)