I wake up relaxed this morning as I know that John has taken care of the school run. I can't explain how much that helps me, not having to worry. I had found getting up in the mornings really hard. I find it hard getting myself motivated and ready let alone getting the boys up and taking them to school, college. So John has relieved me from that.
I lay in bed listening to my audio book last night, I found it hard to sleep but I must have slept as I kept waking up to different parts of the book. At one time though I did have to give in to my restlessness and put the light on and took some tablets. Once I was asleep I did sleep well. I will have to rewind my book tonight though.
I made myself shower and get dressed this morning instead of lounging in my dressing gown. I havent showered for a long time. It felt good! I dont know why I can never be bothered to get in shower. I always just have a quick wash.
John said to me I looked alot better this morning but he had some bad news for me that he didnt really want to burden me with but Sam has been taking money again and he had been in my bag again this morning. John had had a word with him on the way to college this morning and Sam admitted to it. Even though Sam knows Im ill at the moment he is still doing it! He never took the £10 out of my purse because I had written a note in my purse saying £10.00. John said he knew Sam had been in my bag as John had made sure my bag was fully done up and when he looked again the zip was open. Sam admitted that he took 20p from my purse. This hasnt done me much good, I wept when John told me. John said that he though I dealt with it much better than he imagined. Im not as bad as I was a couple of weeks ago as my medication has been increased now and that is controlling my anxiety. Its still there though I can feel it bubbling up inside and Im burping all the time!
We are going to sit Sam down when he comes in from college, Im dreading it! We are going to have Joe in on the conversation as well. Last time we protected Sam from having to confront Joe and his Dad. This time I think Joe should be involved and if Joe wants to say something he can. I feel that Joe should see that Sam is being punished and talked to for what he has done. I really dont know how to deal with this, he obviously has a problem and we need to get to the bottom of it. I will be telling his Dad after we have spoken to him. His Dad will not be happy, he will deal with it in a different way but thats out of my control.
Even though I felt brighter this morning Im not sure if Im ready to go back to work next week or not, I feel that I need to learn how to control my anxiety and stress. Im hoping the Doctor can help with that next week.