Friday, 19 November 2010


I wake up relaxed this morning as I know that John has taken care of the school run. I can't explain how much that helps me, not having to worry. I had found getting up in the mornings really hard. I find it hard getting myself motivated and ready let alone getting the boys up and taking them to school, college. So John has relieved me from that.

I lay in bed listening to my audio book last night, I found it hard to sleep but I must have slept as I kept waking up to different parts of the book. At one time though I did have to give in to my restlessness and put the light on and took some tablets. Once I was asleep I did sleep well. I will have to rewind my book tonight though.

I made myself shower and get dressed this morning instead of lounging in my dressing gown. I havent showered for a long time. It felt good! I dont know why I can never be bothered to get in shower. I always just have a quick wash.

John said to me I looked alot better this morning but he had some bad news for me that he didnt really want to burden me with but Sam has been taking money again and he had been in my bag again this morning. John had had a word with him on the way to college this morning and Sam admitted to it. Even though Sam knows Im ill at the moment he is still doing it! He never took the £10 out of my purse because I had written a note in my purse saying £10.00. John said he knew Sam had been in my bag as John had made sure my bag was fully done up and when he looked again the zip was open. Sam admitted that he took 20p from my purse. This hasnt done me much good, I wept when John told me. John said that he though I dealt with it much better than he imagined. Im not as bad as I was a couple of weeks ago as my medication has been increased now and that is controlling my anxiety. Its still there though I can feel it bubbling up inside and Im burping all the time!

We are going to sit Sam down when he comes in from college, Im dreading it! We are going to have Joe in on the conversation as well. Last time we protected Sam from having to confront Joe and his Dad. This time I think Joe should be involved and if Joe wants to say something he can. I feel that Joe should see that Sam is being punished and talked to for what he has done. I really dont know how to deal with this, he obviously has a problem and we need to get to the bottom of it. I will be telling his Dad after we have spoken to him. His Dad will not be happy, he will deal with it in a different way but thats out of my control.

Even though I felt brighter this morning Im not sure if Im ready to go back to work next week or not, I feel that I need to learn how to control my anxiety and stress. Im hoping the Doctor can help with that next week.



I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

A good shower does feel so good. It not only seems to cleanse the body but the mind as well. It is good to clear the air with Sam about the money because there may very well be something at the bottom of it that needs to be dealt with. He obviously thinks it is important or he wouldn't be doing it. Often actions like that are just a cry for help and he needs some. I'll say a little prayer that all is resolved and you can be relieved of any anxiety that you are feeling.

lunarossa said...

I was glad to hear that you were feeling slightly better but reading further about Sam made me feel worried again. Teenagers are so dreadful sometimes. They drain out our life and I very often wonder why I've bothered to have children...Confronting him is the best way but try not to get too wound up, just reason with him. I'm sure he will understand he did wrong and will be sorry. Wish you all the best. Hugs. Ciao. A.

Stuart said...

Hopefully you can find out why he is taking the money. Is he being bullied perhaps?

Glad you had a slightly better day keep going xxx

Jane said...

Lainey, how old is Sam?

Can I suggest that you do not leave money within easy reach given Sam's history of repetitive stealing?

Ally Lifewithally said...

Lainey I am glad you are feeling a little bit better ~ I am sorry Sam is causing you pain ~ I hope he can explain to you why !!!!!!!! Ally x

Kathy said...

Lainey ... it sure stinks to feel lousy and to have to cope with a problem additionally. Can I suggest you keep your bad just under your bed overnight? And do have that conversation with Sam (and it's good that Joe will be there) As difficult as it can be, it's important that teens realize we loved them, we'll set limits and there are expectations for good behavior.

Good luck! I do hope you feel better soon.

Sara said...

How did it go with your Sam this evening Lainey? Hope you managed to get to the bottom of it all.

Glad to hear that you're feeling a little better today m'dear.

I'm the same way with showering when I feel bad... I think that's quite common hon, so don't feel alone in that.

((( huggles )))