Tuesday, 23 November 2010

Its all a big mess.

Im sorry to have worried you all yesterday.

This has not been easy at all.

I think I told you all that we found out that Joe had slept with his girlfriend. He being nearly 15 and her 13 has not gone down too well with her parents as you can imagine.

I thought that the right thing to do was to inform her parents immediately as I could not harbour a secret like that about their daughter, thats just not right. John and I are quite liberal about these things, we do not condone under age sex though. I had spoken to Joe that he did realise that his girlfriend was very young and that he should not embark on any physical relationship with her whatsoever. I wasnt entirely happy that they were getting so close but I had warned him and her parents were trusting them both.

Anyway, I didnt have their phone number so I messaged Paige's mum on facebook.

She phoned me on Joe's mobile to ask what was going on. She said that Paige had sworn on her grandmother's grave, who she only lost 6 months ago, that she had not slept with Joe. I said well Im sorry they have and I felt that you should know before it went any further. Obviously she was devasted and upset.

About ten o'clock last night Paige's Dad rings me. He immediately starts with a threatening tone, I could not handle it and started shaking and crying and passed him on to John. He was obviously not happy to think that his baby girl had had sexual relations with Joe. But, of course, its all Joe's fault. She told her Dad that Joe had bribed her into doing it and that he would tell all his mates if she didnt. Thats a lie Joe didnt say that to her. He said that Joe had lied about his age. Joe had never told them how old he was. They could see by his prefect top what year he is in! He actually threatened to beat Joe up, a grown man wants to beat up a 14 year old! John said to him do you know you have threatened to beat up a child, and then he says to John I will come and do you over right now if you like! John kept very calm and kept reminding him gently that we had only wanted to do the right thing by telling him straight away. Then he would seem to calm down but then get very angry again. It was not nice at all. He demanded that Joe keep right away from Paige and that he is not to brag and if he finds out that Joe is bragging or goes near her again he will personally do Joe in! He proclaimed to have plenty of 'cousins' that could do the job for him! Oh what lovely people we have living in this world, does it all have to result to violence? He said to John I hope you have given him what for, and John said we deal with it in our way and violence is not our way. John said to him 'I assure you that Joe will be severely dealt with and that he will no how wrong it is'. Not enough for bullies though is it.

Imagine if we hadnt found out and her Dad found them out, my Joe would probably be in hospital bashed up. This is very serious and very very scary. All we can do now is stay low and make sure Joe is protected. Ive kept Joe home today, he is in absolute bits, he is heart broken, ashamed and very very empty. My baby! Im so so sad, Im so so frightened. It makes me feel physically sick!

I have de-activated Joe's facebook, Ive taken his mobile away from him, all for his own safety really. I havent deleted her mum off my facebook, I dont know what to do about that!

The Dad did threaten to go to the police, maybe thats better than him beating Joe up. Im now waiting anxiously for someone to bash my door down, or a policeman to knock on the door. My life feels like its falling to pieces! Not sure how much more I can handle. One positive is that I didnt have a panic attack, my anxiety never arose, its more like a very numb feeling, a sickening feeling of dread! I feel helpless and out of control. All I can do is keep cuddling my baby, he has a broken heart that needs mending.


Stuart said...

Oh dear.
A mess indeed.
I don't know what to say.
I hope he doesn't go to the police but he is entitled to do that and then it would get very messy.
Poor you

LYN said...

the exact same thing happened when my son was 14!! and the girl was not even a gf..just the neighbourhood "bike" and all the boys had a turn with her and they called my son "gay" when he tried to say no so he did it to be one of the lads..the girl told her best friend and then the bf told her Mum and the mum called the girls mum and then she told me...luckily the girl told the truth and said that she was the one who allowed it..I was mortified for the girl who was trying to be "popular" and for my son who gave in to peer pressure..thnakfully none of them ended up with any diseases or babies and they moved away..it was a nightmare though! The dad threatened my son too...it was a horrid time for us all..hang in there lainey!! xx

lunarossa said...

OMG, Layney, you don't need this on top of everything else now! Hope he will be ok and keeps away from her. She is clearly totally immature and not worth it. All in all they are still too young I think for this kind of relationship. I'm dreading of this with my own kids. Why can't they just hold hands watching tv for a little bit longer....Hugs. A.

Sara said...

I'm so sorry that you're all in this awful situation, Lainey. Poor Joe. 14 is no age to be dealing with these kinds of emotions. How are you holding up honey?

Ally Lifewithally said...

Lainey what can I say that hasn't already been said ~ I hope Joe will be OK ~ I am sure with you behind him he will come throught this ~ Ally x

Jane said...

Don't worry about the police Lainey - it's not as if your son is in his 20s or older. I'm absolutely sure that the police would sympathize with the girl's dad and take it no further.

Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

A right mess it is.