Butterflies like you wouldn’t believe. Feel very strange, empty and just not right.
Have felt strange and anxious all evening. I wish this anxious feeling would go away. Keep burping all the time too. Its horrible. John away tonight. I don’t like him being away.
My Joe is in bits this evening. Had a disagreement with his girlfriend. Its all far too intense and he takes things to heart. He got himself in such a state and Im the only one here to deal with it. John not here. Its hard.
My leg hurts, dull aches. Absolutely shattered so I hope I sleep better tonight.
Very very tired, I wish I could wake up feeling refreshed. I just don’t want to wake up. I could sleep forever. I did sleep better last night, although it still takes me ages to get to sleep. But once I was asleep I didn’t wake up.
My head is muzzy, my tummy feels empty and I keep burping but I don’t want to eat. I have a heavy period, I really need to sort my coil out but never get round to making an appointment. When I get back from the doctors today I want to get back in bed and sleep.
What I want is to wake up not feeling empty, wake up eager to start the day.
I ran out of time as usual! Its so hard getting up getting motivated. Getting the boys motivated, sorting out the dog. Then Sam couldn’t find a t.shirt. I feel bad as all the clothes are just in a heap in the spare room. I wash them, dry them and then do nothing with them, I really must sort it out! There is so much to do before a foster child arrives, the spare room needs clearing out. John said that if we were further down the line I could give up work so I could get house ready. I wish we knew. I wish I had a simple job like a checkout girl at Asda, in a bright green shirt!
I got flustered in the car as it was all iced up and I was trying to clear it and then Sam turns radio up and I snap at him. All because Im anxious about what Im going to say at the Doctors today. I wish I could just be calm, get all the jobs done in the house, read a lot, go for a long walk. Be me, do something for me!