Tuesday, 16 November 2010

Monday 19:15

Butterflies like you wouldn’t believe. Feel very strange, empty and just not right.

21:43

Have felt strange and anxious all evening. I wish this anxious feeling would go away. Keep burping all the time too. Its horrible. John away tonight. I don’t like him being away.

My Joe is in bits this evening. Had a disagreement with his girlfriend. Its all far too intense and he takes things to heart. He got himself in such a state and Im the only one here to deal with it. John not here. Its hard.

My leg hurts, dull aches. Absolutely shattered so I hope I sleep better tonight.


Tuesday 07:16

Very very tired, I wish I could wake up feeling refreshed. I just don’t want to wake up. I could sleep forever. I did sleep better last night, although it still takes me ages to get to sleep. But once I was asleep I didn’t wake up.

My head is muzzy, my tummy feels empty and I keep burping but I don’t want to eat. I have a heavy period, I really need to sort my coil out but never get round to making an appointment. When I get back from the doctors today I want to get back in bed and sleep.

What I want is to wake up not feeling empty, wake up eager to start the day.

I ran out of time as usual! Its so hard getting up getting motivated. Getting the boys motivated, sorting out the dog. Then Sam couldn’t find a t.shirt. I feel bad as all the clothes are just in a heap in the spare room. I wash them, dry them and then do nothing with them, I really must sort it out! There is so much to do before a foster child arrives, the spare room needs clearing out. John said that if we were further down the line I could give up work so I could get house ready. I wish we knew. I wish I had a simple job like a checkout girl at Asda, in a bright green shirt!

I got flustered in the car as it was all iced up and I was trying to clear it and then Sam turns radio up and I snap at him. All because Im anxious about what Im going to say at the Doctors today. I wish I could just be calm, get all the jobs done in the house, read a lot, go for a long walk. Be me, do something for me!

7 comments:

Sara said...

Let us know how you get on today Lainey Laine.

((((( big hugs )))))

x

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

I hope today is a much better one for you and that you did get some rest. It helps for sure. Take good care and you'll be all better soon

Aileen said...

Oh! Lainey

Hope your Day gets better!

Thank you for your recent comment, I will update soon,you asked about the 9th....long story short, more Investigations,appointment for ENT and still awaiting result of Laser surgery.

Aileen....X

LYN said...

let us know..love the new way you're blogging..hope it's helping...

lunarossa said...

Sorry about this, Lainey! I didn't notice that you've started wiring here again. I'm not blogging much lately. I totally understand your feelings. Sometimes your family totally suffocates you, there is too much to do and when you're not feeling very well, it gets on top of you. Hope there are good news from the doctor. Hugs. A.

Ally Lifewithally said...

Hi Lainey I do hope you will start to feel better soon ~ I think writing down your feelings will be of help to you ~ do let us know how your appointment goes ~ Ally x

Stuart said...

Keep strong, only found you had updated your blog by accident