Saturday, 20 November 2010


We spoke to Sam last night. (Jane he is 17) We spoke calmly to him, told him how disappointed we were. He was very sorry. It's hard to explain here what went on but we talked and talked. We let Joe talk too, after all Joe is as much part of this family as Sam and Sam needs to know how it affected him too (is it effected or affected?) anyway, Joe said that he was disappointed in him and that he couldnt believe he could still try to steal from me and know that he would be found out, especially when Mum is feeling ill at the moment and you can make her worse. At this point I broke down in tears. To hear my Joe speaking so sensibly and supportive of me was very touching. We asked Sam what he was going to do to try help himself get better, as we said to him he does have a problem and we all need to work together to get him better. He said that he needs to cut down the cigarettes and eventually try to give up.

Of course I had to tell his Dad, his Dad treats things differently to John and I, his Dad F'd and blinded at him down the phone, which I dont think is necessary but I cant stop what his Dad does.

Sam said he is going to try really hard to get a job so he can pay for his things (cigarettes) that he wants himself.

Im not going to hide my bag away, I want to trust him. I think that if he gets the urge to steal I'd rather it was from me than from outside the house. I will have a chat to Sam and see what he thinks. I'll ask him if he can trust himself me leaving my bag in the hallway still. John feels strongly about not changing what we do in the house. Its hard to know what to do for the best.

I got up this morning feeling better, had had a relaxing night's sleep, it was good to have spoken to Sam and got that out the way. As the morning went on though I felt anxious again, as we were getting ready to go to my Mum and Dad's it was horrible, the feeling just kept rising up and up. I dont know why as I had got up feeling fine.

I have felt like Im on another planet today, my arms have felt all heavy and my head has felt muzzy. It was lovely seeing my Mum and Dad. I was hoping my Mum would give me a cuddle but she didnt! She never ever does! :( We told them about Sam and they were disappointed and said that they thought we had dealt with it very well. My Dad gave me their pocket money and said to me, tell Sam that you are keeping it. I did'nt do that, I gave it to Sam hoping he would offer it to me but he didnt. Im hoping that he will try to pay me back one day.

Had some nice eats at my Mum and Dad's always nice eats there! And they gave us a lovely box of M&S choccies that we can eat tonight whilst watching X-Factor.

John is in a very funny mood, I think he is fed up with me again, thats how it feels. He is very tired. We had to drive into Brighton to drop Joe and his friends then we drove to my Mum and Dad's, had dinner with them then picked up Joe and his friends at 5.30. We didnt get home til just gone seven and then he had to go to Tesco. I said to him, dont go to Tesco as your tired and he said no Ive got to go as its the last day for the voucher for £7.00 off and we need the money right now! That makes me feel bad as Im off work at the moment and I wont be getting paid full pay. I think John thinks I should go back next week. I dont want to go back and then go back to where I started again! Im scared! I dont know what to think, I dont know what my head is going to do to me next! Im fed up burping like every five minutes! I cant wait to see the Doctor on Monday and see what she says as Im feeling anxious already.

Thanks for making me feel better with your comments everyone.

I havent checked spelling and that! It might be rubbish!


Bucko (a.k.a., Ken) said...

Have you thought of looking into meditation techniques?

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Its good you got the talk over and done with. Now you will see if it made a difference. You are best to take your doctors advice about going back to work.

Sara said...

I think that you're right not to hide your bag away Lainey, that shows Sam that you trust him still. Hopefully he will now try to live up to that trust.

Have a chat with John. It can be hard to judge how others are feeling when you're feeling low yourself. You could be worrying needlessly m'dear.

((( huggles from a Sara Sara )))

Jane said...

I do feel for you Lainey - you're having a nasty rough time at the mo, and as if your health wasn't enough you have Sam's behaviour and John's weariness to cope with too.
I really am not sure about you continuing to leave your purse accessible especially if Sam's addiction to nicotine is the underlying problem. In a sense allowing him access to money to feed his addiction is facilitating it. Couldn't you leave your bag but remove your purse? Then if he tried to steal from it he would be struck by what he was trying to do.
Does he get EMA? If so and he also gets pocket money from his Grandparents and maybe his dad (?) then really he ought to be rationing his smoking to make his money last. Or he could get a part time job.
I just worry that in letting him off lightly (ie with no unpleasant penalties) you might be aiding habits (stealing and smoking)which he could carry with him into adulthood. A stop has to be put to this behaviour and now is a much better time to do it than to wait until the authorities step in.

Stuart said...

Hi you, sorry I have been unable to get here till now to comment, I agree with Sara make sure John is actually thinking these things as I can get quite convinced that J is thinking things she isn't on the other hand you be right which will be a disappointment.

I wouldn;t worry over much about Sam to be honest. I think you have done the right thing. See what happens.

I was a terrible thief in my teenage years.